Friday, September 12, 2014
W. R. A. P. (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Wellness Tools: WRAP Newsletter Photos of Using Creativity with WR...
W. R. A. P. (Wellness Recovery Action Plan) Wellness Tools: WRAP Newsletter Photos of Using Creativity with WR...: HERE ARE SOME PHOTOS OF SOME OF THE CREATIVE WAYS I USE WRAP IN MY WORKSHOPS Gratitude Garland Gratitude Garland Folders ...
Thursday, March 13, 2014
For the Moments and Musings that Stick: Love to SMASH? Tell Us & Win!
For the Moments and Musings that Stick: Love to SMASH? Tell Us & Win!: Hey SMASH fans! Sorry it's been awhile since our last post, but now we are back on track! Just letting you know we created a SM...
This is an old post 2011 I think and I'm more interested in the "Currently" page seen here.
This is an old post 2011 I think and I'm more interested in the "Currently" page seen here.
Friday, December 7, 2012
http://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/guide-establishing-boundaries
ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES
Every relationship has its problems, no matter how perfect it seems to be.
A large part of relationships when one partner has bipolar disorder is distinguishing when a problem is a normal problem, or when it stems from something related to bipolar disorder.
http://emergingfrombroken.com/when-family-or-friends-say-mean-and-hurtful-things/
When Family or Friends say Mean and Hurtful Things
In Response to this post:
Bipolar Awareness ~ Stop the Stigma
I posted this:
"I'm a failure. I'm a failure to live up to others expectations. It hurts when I think too much about it and I do because that's who I am. Then I go to the people that I love (whether they judge me or not and believe me they do because I judge them too,) and I do my best to get my head into gear.
This place, the world, didn't begin with these rules. They were developed over time. The way this society is will not be the same way in 10, 20 years. It's hard to see it until you think of the past.
Sorry just kind of running off at the mind. I feel for you dude, chick, whatever, I've been through this. I hoep you pull through."
See I am still active in seeking my own mental clarity
Thursday, December 6, 2012
So it's been since May. I don't find this interesting anymore you say? Not really. I thinks things have just gotten worse and I can't save myself again.
Dad is not in a nursing home. I am not living in reality. I'm living in that purgatory between life and wishing I was dealing with life. I get pushed over the line. One toke over the line sweet jesus.
I got lost can you forgive me? Please do because LOOOOOOORDDDDDD knows I won't forgive myself. I just don't know how.
So I'm going to post this.
I'm not doing the WRAP anymore. I am doing a short fun version of journaling that has prewritten sheets of questions and fun little would you want this or that circle lists. I thought it was charming and would capture the teenage-hood I never had. Well it never does. Like with all charms they don't last long. So now I am dirty and lost and floating through the pablum of a life uninspired. I try to grip things that catch my eye. People and ideas and wants and wishes and needs and dreams but nothing secures me down to get any motivation to grow and ignore the chaos and fight on. I do dribs and drabs of healing things. Don't ask me what. I know I do heal a little at a time. I seem to be able to grab some inner peace for a short while and not feel the wicked swirling sucking of anxiety and panic attacks.
I've done a little non experiment. I don't feel very comfortable with it so I think it may not work no matter what it actually can do without massive stress behind others prejudices of it. We'll see. Will I be strong and reveal it to CR? Who knows. I am off the lithium again. I don't have the balls to call. I am frightened again. I am in a bind in my mind. So my sleeping habits are waaaay bad than before. I wake up at 1 pm or 3 pm then sleep around 7 pm then wake up at 11 pm then go to bed at 6am then start the cycle again. You know what you can suck it. You're no help.
Dad is not in a nursing home. I am not living in reality. I'm living in that purgatory between life and wishing I was dealing with life. I get pushed over the line. One toke over the line sweet jesus.
I got lost can you forgive me? Please do because LOOOOOOORDDDDDD knows I won't forgive myself. I just don't know how.
So I'm going to post this.
I'm not doing the WRAP anymore. I am doing a short fun version of journaling that has prewritten sheets of questions and fun little would you want this or that circle lists. I thought it was charming and would capture the teenage-hood I never had. Well it never does. Like with all charms they don't last long. So now I am dirty and lost and floating through the pablum of a life uninspired. I try to grip things that catch my eye. People and ideas and wants and wishes and needs and dreams but nothing secures me down to get any motivation to grow and ignore the chaos and fight on. I do dribs and drabs of healing things. Don't ask me what. I know I do heal a little at a time. I seem to be able to grab some inner peace for a short while and not feel the wicked swirling sucking of anxiety and panic attacks.
I've done a little non experiment. I don't feel very comfortable with it so I think it may not work no matter what it actually can do without massive stress behind others prejudices of it. We'll see. Will I be strong and reveal it to CR? Who knows. I am off the lithium again. I don't have the balls to call. I am frightened again. I am in a bind in my mind. So my sleeping habits are waaaay bad than before. I wake up at 1 pm or 3 pm then sleep around 7 pm then wake up at 11 pm then go to bed at 6am then start the cycle again. You know what you can suck it. You're no help.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Dump Truck Full of Ash
I saw a "friend" from High School today at a Ladies Dinner at the church. I don't consider anyone from my high school days to truly have been real friends to me. To be friends you must be strong at be able to admit your weaknesses to the person you're calling your friend because you trust them that much. You have to respect the person and not be afraid that they will stab you in the back. High School (as was elementary school and Junior High,) was a horrible, fearful, disgusting and degrading experience that taught me to hate humans. I never actively sought people from that part of my past in fact I avoid those people who I basically grew up with.
I don't know if she felt intimidated by me or if she just naturally talks and talks without really considering the other person's conversation acumen but I had a hard time getting a word in edgewise. It didn't really bother me too much since I feel in conversations that people think I'm either an idiot or I blurt out stupid things to say. I'd rather not talk, I usually have nothing unique or pithy to say. So she carried our conversation quite well updating me on the fates of certain people from school who either had horrible endings, serious misfortunes or even great luck. It was like listening to an alien show or "Survivor". I knew the names or they rang a bell but I couldn't place the name with the individual that I avoided in school. I tried very hard to be admiring because I didn't know what else to do. I also would like to try to be normal now that my life is more stable than it has ever been. Reconciling with my past seems to be a possible goal that I might e able to accomplish albeit slowly and carefully.
It's been a rather nice day today (technically yesterday,) what with going to East Farm's Spring Festival and getting if not used to than maybe close to acclimated to getting up early to take the guys to work. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I hope to get up early and make Mom a breakfast in bed and a card for E. We'll see.
I don't know if she felt intimidated by me or if she just naturally talks and talks without really considering the other person's conversation acumen but I had a hard time getting a word in edgewise. It didn't really bother me too much since I feel in conversations that people think I'm either an idiot or I blurt out stupid things to say. I'd rather not talk, I usually have nothing unique or pithy to say. So she carried our conversation quite well updating me on the fates of certain people from school who either had horrible endings, serious misfortunes or even great luck. It was like listening to an alien show or "Survivor". I knew the names or they rang a bell but I couldn't place the name with the individual that I avoided in school. I tried very hard to be admiring because I didn't know what else to do. I also would like to try to be normal now that my life is more stable than it has ever been. Reconciling with my past seems to be a possible goal that I might e able to accomplish albeit slowly and carefully.
It's been a rather nice day today (technically yesterday,) what with going to East Farm's Spring Festival and getting if not used to than maybe close to acclimated to getting up early to take the guys to work. Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I hope to get up early and make Mom a breakfast in bed and a card for E. We'll see.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
I had an alter set up for UFOs. I prayed to them to come pick me up. As a child I looked in the witchcraft books that I found in libraries. I found werewolf recipes that had ingredients like fat from an infant, wolfsbane and other things I didn't know how to get even though I sought out the scientific names of the plants.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)