I've started my WRAP Workbook. I've promised myself since about 2006 that I would set one up for myself and even thought I started one (only god and sonny jesus know where it is.) I'm hoping this blog can be an element that keeps me interested in it since I find my follow through lacking any motivation. I want to be someone else. Someone who isn't so disabled that they find pieces of their life missing and misplaced because that's how it's been since I was a teenager.
I have an old Time Planner from the 90's I bought when I was going to be a writer. I'd discarded it after finding too many organization sections in it. I mean who needs a daily/weekly/monthly planner? I took out the monthly planner, left in the daily planner to keep track of regular habits at least for two weeks to see how bad the sleeping problem is. I mean I get up at 11 am or even 1 pm at times now and go to bed between 2 am (if I'm lucky,) and 6 am. It's difficult now that I don't "work". It's difficult now that I live with my parents in the house I lived in from the age of 3 to the age of 16. All the crappy memories lurk in the base of my sub-conscience and effect my daily life.
Okay maybe another boring ramble about how I feel later or even better another day. It's my blog and I'll bore when ever I want to. So two for flinching!
Today -
Mood - low but stable
Physical - migraine and stuffiness (probably an allergy these walls are inhabited by mold.)
Woke up - 11 am with migraine thought it was allergies and took a Mucinex D extra strength to no avail except nausea went to bed around 6 am
Activities - read some more of The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest, organized the WRAP Binder, wrapped my niece's present and bought and signed her a card. (I had gotten her a recycle book from Philadelphia back in April. It's cooler than it sounds.)
WRAP - Organized the binder, wrote out a Project sheet for the first WRAP attempt (?), wrote a to do list, started writing the Wellness Tools list, wrote a Reality Checks & Symptoms list with grades of how bad I have to be for the symptoms to overtake my life and make living difficult. I even made a Sample Day Plan but it sucked because I didn't know if I'm suppose to be realistic and make a plan for a day where my symptoms are bad, good or mediocre. I made one with a semi realistic goal that is optimistic for me. For anyone else they'd be disgusted by the schedual I created. I'm not at my best now so I'm trying to keep it real while incorporating goals I can possibly attain.
I mean right now I'm doing this off the cuff. I know this is going to be boring for anyone else and even me. I want to attend to two goals of my own: writing regularly on the computer and trying to get this WRAP thing under way so I can get a handle on my illness. I lie to myself so much that although it protects my mind from the past and my own faults it is also preventing me from getting much done in my life. I hate myself and I think if I tried to actually like myself maybe my life wouldn't suck so much. That's it in a sentence. I'm tired of the suicidal ideations. I'm tired of being a burden to myself. I'm tired of wasted time spent alone because I can't handle certain situations or people or myself. I'm about maybe half way through my life and I haven't killed myself yet so I must be a survivor.
I also plan to add URLs that are helping me with this self help blog/workbook.
first is a link to a program called The PREPARE to be Partners in Your Health Care: Six Steps to Help You Get More Out of Your Doctor's Visit on the Institute for Healthcare Communication
Institute for Healthcare Communication PREPARE Program
I wanted to get this program but with my experience of buying then losing and never using programs like these I decided the $10.00 is not worth it. But you can buy it! I'll include the store URL because the IHC has made no link from the program to the store to buy it. Weird. You'd think they'd want people to snatch that bitch up, right? I mean it IS the Institute for Healthcare Communication. No linkee, no buyee. Whatever man I looked it up:
Institute for Healthcare Communication store
By the way, it's not a video it's a cassette. Get out your original Walkman, remember those?
Here's a website that looks very very promising as far as mental self help goes. It's in Canada. No jokes folks because Canada is not like America. In America you have to go and buy an outdated media in order to get help. In Canada they have a whole frigging website for your perusal. I selected this one because it has a whole page dedicated to: with articles, fact sheets, a workbook and websites
Supporting a Family Member
HeretoHelp/Supporting a Family Member
This page has articles, fact sheets, a workbook and websites all about supporting a family member with a mental illness. How cool is that?
I have tons more but so far that's enough. For me. Until I pull another all-nighter and decide to post the godonlyknows how many URLs I've captured over how long I've been doing this.
Honestly if you e-mail me a broken link, I'll try to update it. Depends on what way I'm swinging at the time. And you know I'm not talking about sex here.
