Memorial Day Cookout...

Monday, MAY 30, 2011

Mood - Woke up tired and groggy, too warm and in a stupor. I woke up at 11:00 am when Mom came in and told me it was 11:00. 

My head felt stuffed and weird again so I assumed I had a migraine again. I took an allergy pill and two excedrin, went to bed for a few minutes and got up after realizing we had so much to do today.  

Physical - I went to bed at 5:00 am also "last night". Tired and groggy, I had a migraine. I woke up to the assholes next door STILL building that fucking house. I don't give a shit if they want to get it done fast.  

Woke up -  I woke up at 11:15 am officially. I really need to get up very early like 9 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did do a Daily page and one blog page. I had Mom get the blue plastic table cloths and navy blue sheet. We covered the two picnic tables and the utility table that is falling apart next to the herb garden with the table cloths and secured the with packing tape. I cleaned out the cooler. We did the typical set up for Memorial Day. Drinks, salad dressings, condiments, plates, napkins, utensils, serving spoons and frozen meats were taken outside and set up. We ate around 1:00 pm the whole family. I started picking up dirty utensils and throwing paper plates away. We (Jen, Erika, Thom, kevin, Mom, Mayla and I,) walked down to Galilee and back. Once we got home I finished taking condiments, leftover meat and side dishes, plate liners and dirty dishes inside. I cleaned out the cooler and took leftover ice inside to the freezer.

WRAP - Wrote the blog for today. I also wrote today's Daily Page.

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on calling Erika to help with her house. I need to mail out the Netflix movie "Sonny". I also plan on writing up a simple "project page" addressing my want to change my eating habits. Slowly but surely I want to change my eating habits so that I 1) stop eating after 9:00 pm 2) stop eating at fast food places 3) stop eating so unhealthily 4) train myself to eat less.

A reminder: Friday Erika and I are planning to go to Boston to see the Edward Gorey exhibit (it's last day,)and something at the Contemporary Museum of Art. ALSO: plan on celebrating when you complete the May 1st post. That will be a whole month of Daily Pages and Blogs!!

Long Lazy Day with Migraine...

SUNDAY, MAY 29, 2011

Mood - Still tired and groggy. I woke up at 9:30 am and went to the bathroom. 

My head felt stuffed and weird so I assumed I had a migraine. I took an allergy pill, went to bed. I woke up again about 11:30 am and went to the bathroom. I punched the Pope. I sat in bed wrote about my dream world and read a little of The Cosmic Rape. I woke up again at 2:30 pm Mom was in my room and asked if I wanted to wake up. I asked her for water to take some excedrin migraine pills but went back to sleep. I actually got up 15 minutes later. I still felt weird and woozy and dizzy and swollen. 

Physical - I went to bed at 6:00 am also "last night". Tired and groggy, I had a migraine. I woke up again at 11:30 am I think. 

Woke up -  I woke up at 2:45 pm officially. I really need to get up very early like 9 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did do a Daily page and one blog page. I mowed the front lawn when I finally got up. I then went out and weed whacked the front lawn and back lawn. I helped Mom in the garden a bit. I set up the portable garbage can for Memorial Day grill preparation. I also put down some foam tiles on top of the dirt that Kevin uncovered while building with bricks and stones in front of the prep table. I shucked corn. We ate dinner at 6:00 pm Dad, Mom, Caryl, Kevin and I. Kevin and I went to Shaw's for hot dogs then to Carquest to get a oil for oil changes in the cars. We stopped at the Post Office and I picked up my mail. Once we got home I made the potato salad for tomorrow. I went online.

WRAP - Wrote the blog for today. I also wrote today's Daily Page.

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on helping with Memorial Day grill prep. I also plan on writing up a simple "project page" addressing my want to change my eating habits. Slowly but surely I want to change my eating habits so that I 1) stop eating after 9:00 pm 2) stop eating at fast food places 3) stop eating so unhealthily 4) train myself to eat less.

A reminder: Monday is Memorial Day. We are planning on celebrating James' and Kevin's birthdays then also.THINK OF A GIFT TO GET THEM! ALSO: plan on celebrating when you complete the May 1st post. That will be a whole month of Daily Pages and Blogs!!

Better Late Than Never...

SATURDAY, MAY 28, 2011

Mood - Tired and groggy again! I woke up at 10:30 am. My head felt stuffed and weird so I assumed I had a migraine. I took an allergy pill and 2 excedrin migraine pills. I had gone downstairs to go to the bathroom, Mom was taking a shower. I talked to Mom for a bit I think then told her I wasn't doing well and was going to go back to sleep. I woke up again I think at 1:30 pm and TOOK A SHOWER!! I even WANTED to take a shower! I am so excited about that. I felt better after the shower but when I did work on the lawn I felt weird and woozy and dizzy. 

Physical - I went to bed at 6:00 am also "last night". Tired and groggy, I had a migraine. I woke up again at 11:30 am I think. 

Woke up -  I woke up at 1:30 pm officially. I really need to get up very early like 9 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did do a Daily page and two blog pages. I TOOK A SHOWER! when I finally got up. I prepared a raisin bagel with cheese on top and unloaded the dish washer as it toasted. I went outside after getting dressed and restringing my brwon shoes with the white curly laces. I moved the picnic benches then Dad helped me move the picnic table out of the way so Kevin could mow the lawn. I moved the rototiller, the stake in concrete with balls on it and tipped the other picnic table up so he could mow as much as possible. I asked Kevin if he could help jump my car but he said he was going to Carquest to get a NEW BATTERY! We both went and came back and he installed it as I mowed the lawn on the side of the house. Believe it or not Dad had been mowing the side lawn but I told Kevin to get over there and relieve him. I got the weed whacker out and started to weed whack. We took the car out after Kevin installed the battery and got coffee at Brewed Awakenings. Kevin and I decided to go to Foxwoods and eat at Fuddruckers when we drove back home. He wanted to take a shower so I continued to weed whack as he went to the bathroom. I didn't want to annoy him and potentially make him anxious so I left him alone even though I was getting hungry. Mom asked me if we were staying for dinner but I told her I didn't think so. I reassured her that if we didn't I'd find something to eat. Once Kevin got out I went outside and replaced the table and benches with some help from Dad. 

I went upstairs and Mr. Paul joined me on my bed and I petted him for a little while. Kevin came in and harassed Paul so much he hissed then went under my bed. We left soon afterwards for Foxwoods. We decided to stop by Wendy's to get something to eat instead of waiting for Foxwoods. We walked around MGM Grand and Foxwoods but I wasn't that excited as I thought I would be. We decided to go to Regal Cinemas near Westerly instead. Once we got there we discovered the doors closed and locked. I called Showcase and found a 12:06 am showing of Priest and we headed out to find a Dunkin' D's. Kev got a coffee; I got a glazed chocolate donut. We took Rt 1 to Rt 2 and meandered the back way to East Greenwich. Priest was an average movie. Too bad because I like Paul Bettany. While we headed home Kev and I had a deep discussion about relationships and leaving them when you realize the other person won't or can't change. We got home around 2:00 am.

WRAP - Wrote the blog for today but posted it on Sunday morning. I also wrote Saturday's Daily Page.

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on assembling laundry for the washer and hanging it outside. I plan on making sure the yard is done and the bushes on the side of the house are trimmed. I also plan on writing up a simple "project page" addressing my want to change my eating habits. Slowly but surely I want to change my eating habits so that I 1) stop eating after 9:00 pm 2) stop eating at fast food places 3) stop eating so unhealthily 4) train myself to eat less.

A reminder: Monday is Memorial Day. We are planning on celebrating James' and Kevin's birthdays then also.THINK OF A GIFT TO GET THEM! Remind Mom to get charcoal.

Double the Fun... Another Double Blog!

FRIDAY, MAY 27, 2011

Mood - Tired and groggy. I woke up at 9:00 am. Paul was in my face and REALLY, REALLY wanted me to let him out so I did. I ignored Dad who yelled my name as I slumped up the stairs to go back to bed. He walked in my room and told me we needed to pick Mom up now. I yelled back that it was this afternoon not now. he left and I went back to sleep after a while. I took an allergy pill before trying to go to sleep. My head felt weird. I felt crappy all day. 

Physical - I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night". Tired and groggy, I had a migraine that wouldn't go away even with a dose of 2 excedrin migraine meds. I woke up again at 11:25 am I think. 

Woke up -  I woke up at 11:25 am. I really need to get up very early like 9 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did do a Daily page but no blog. I made it a point to spend the day here with Dad and let him see me often. I sat with Dad and watched the boob tube. For lunch I made him the precooked hot dogs, small cup of beans and a granola bar. I cleaned and packed the beans up. I took out the chicken that Mom had bought and the chicken bulgogi that I had frozen since Erika's first concert bash with The 'mericans and left them to thaw on the counter. I went upstairs and took the excedrin about 1:00 pm and lay down figuring I'd take a nap before driving to Warwick to get Mom. Dad yelled upstairs and woke me up around 3:15 pm to tell me that I needed to come downstairs and look at my mail. I yelled back to just leave it on the table and I'd check it out later. My head felt like it was in a different country from me. I decided to get up and figure out my plan for dinner and Dad and getting Mom. Downstairs I took out the laundry from the basement and hung it out figuring letting Dad's pants hang out over night wasn't a bad idea to get any residual smells out. When I came in I went upstairs to prepare myself for leaving, combed my hair and changed my clothes. As I was up there Dad yells up that Mom is on the phone and wants to talk to me. She had just landed in Charlotte, VA and their flight was to be delayed again but she didn't know how long. I told her to call me when she was standing in line to board the plane. Dad and I would greet her at the airport I would take Dad out to eat and we'd wait for her 2 hour flight from Charlotte. The night became a waiting game. Eventually after consulting the Charlotte Airport and T.F. Green Airport web sites I called Caryl. He told me he wouldn't be there for dinner and I told him about Mom's dilemma. He said since he was going to BJ's anyways he would just hang out and pick her up when she got in. So I started dinner which was the bulgogi chicken microwaved in a dish, green beans, 2 small bowls of salad for Dad and I, a pot of rice and a yam for Dad with some toast for his chicken. We ate and I told him after checking T.F. Green's website that Mom would be coming in around 9:00 pm. he and I would wait for Caryl to pick her up from the airport. he wasn't too upset but he definitely wasn't happy. He had complained earlier about her not coming in and our not leaving to get her yet. I explained it was the weather's fault. He wasn't happy and looked disturbed all night. I sat with him for Jeopardy most of the way through but checked on the flight schedule most of the night. I prepared Dad's night meds as he sat and flicked between Dateline or some such and NCIS. I made some mini monkey breads and boy were they a mess! I had to clean the oven diaper and the muffin tins  of the caramel and melted margarine. Eventually while Dad and I were watching Dateline Mom came back with Caryl. After welcoming her home and all the souvenirs given out I went upstairs and got online. I went downstairs once I remembered the papers I had for her and the reminders. I went back upstairs and went online and ate a bowl of old fruit salad. I then remembered that dad needed his morning meds and Mom might be out of practice putting his morning stuff out along with his morning meds. So I put out his set up and left a written reminder about Dad's check and meds and went back upstairs after eating the baked beans. I also reordered the folic acid that was low for tomorrow.

WRAP - Wrote the blog for yesterday and today but posted it on Saturday morning.  

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on assembling laundry for the washer and hanging it outside. I also plan on getting the car battery jumped again and driving the car around.

A reminder: Monday is Memorial Day. We are planning on celebrating James' and Kevin's birthdays then also.THINK OF A GIFT TO GET THEM!

THURSDAY, MAY 26, 2011

Mood - Tired and groggy. I woke up at 10:30 am. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill around 10:30 am.

Physical - I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night". Tired and groggy but got things done.

Woke up -  I woke up at 1:00 pm. I really need to get to bed very early like 9 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did do a Daily page and a blog. I got up and changed Dad's bed sheets, he'd shit on them. I set Dad's clothes up in the bathroom for Nancy to give him his shower. For lunch I made him a tuna sandwich, sliced apple and a granola bar. I put 2 cans of vegetarian beans and a can of light red beans in the crock pot and added a package of 8 hot dogs, the short ones. I spiced it up more with ground cloves, ground ginger, the last of the molasses, dry mustard, ketchup garlic and paprika. Later when it was about an hour until we were to eat I placed the sieve with the long handle over the still cooking crock pot and put the buns on that and covered them with the handled wok so the steam could heat up the buns and thicken the beans. I was cleaning the area next to the sink in the kitchen along with the plastic bin that holds the garbage can and recyclables the floor under it and in front of the dishwasher thoroughly. Once Nancy came I vacuumed the living room floor and the library floor and washed out the coffee maker since there were ants in it AGAIN! I was angry at Nancy for her not being happy about Dad's ass being sore from his sitting in pee and poop. I won't change Dad unless he lets me. Whatever. I made dinner but cutting up vegetables for the salad and the broccoli for a side dish. I prepared the boys dinner especially Kevin's since he was taking Dad out to see a movie. They went to see Pirates of the Caribbean the 4th one. I added another can of beans to the rest of the left over beans, that skunked Sam Adam's beer that's been sitting outside since last year and sliced up more hot dogs for flavoring. I cooked 2 hot dogs in it over night for Dad's lunch for friday. I then prepared Dad's night meds. I washed the dishes and ate way too much. I went online until they came home (Dad and Kevin,) then checked to make sure Dad took his night meds. I prepared Dad's morning meds and put a wash made up of Dad's disgusting pants that I soaked with the shit sheet and two bathroom mats. 

WRAP - Wrote this the Daily Page.  

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on picking Mom up from the airport around 4:30 pm. I plan on hanging Dad's wash outside since it's suppose to be sunny tomorrow afternoon. I need to order the Divalproex for Dad for pickup on Saturday.

A reminder: Mom comes back from North Carolina around 4:00 pm, Friday 27th. Tomorrow give Mom the papers you saved and tell her about the things that need to be done i.e. Dad's ass powdered, his medication picked up.

Day Out...

WEDNESDAY, MAY 25, 2011

Mood - Still tired but functional. I took an allergy pill and a whiff of the Advair. I made myself get up even a half hour late. I didn't feel so bad 'cause I was hyped up for Anita. Today Dad seemed okay. He was worried that he shit his pants again and when asked he said his bum felt okay. 

Physical - I felt normal today; no wheezing, no stuffiness. I was alive today. I went to bed around 4:00 am "last night" after going up and down the stairs to get tasks done for today.

Woke up -  I woke up at 9:33 am. 

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did yesterday's Daily Page and Blog. Anita was with Dad downstairs when I got up. We chatted. I told her I was going to do errands, basically lied. I checked on Mom's plants outside and they looked water logged so I drained them. Erika called to see how things were going. I set up Dad's lunch, the leftover fish, a green salad and a granola bar. I went upstairs to change and get ready to get out of the house. After calling Ofelia (she was on the phone,) I continued getting ready to go and turned on my computer to see what was up. Ofelia called me back and we decided we'd get together. When I got there we decided to go to the Great Harvest Bread Co. a bakery/coffee shop. I got a sandwich and an iced coffee the best I've had in years. We talked and then went to Job Lot and looked around after Ofelia returned some soil. After we went back to Ofelia's place I headed home. I made dinner: chicken and dumplings (BURNED THE SHIT OUT OF THE BOTTOM!) fruit salad and a yam for him. Caryl liked the chicken and dumpling leftovers which I had already removed the burned bottom parts from so it didn't ruin it. 

I packed the leftovers before Caryl ate any he and Kevin came home separately and late. Dad and I watched Jeopardy then two episodes of the Big Bang Theory. Through these I wrote the Daily Page for today. James called to see how we were doing. I loaded the dishwasher after Caryl ate and turned it on. I went upstairs about half way through Criminal Minds. Mom called around 8:00 pm and talked a bit about her trip and what she did today. She also talked about that nice lady from Germany and how her life has been a very hard trial lately. I set up Dad's night meds up while she and Dad talked. I went to my room and went online, copying all the blogs in chronological order and saving them to the external hard drive. I took out the wash from the dryer and folded it. I went back downstairs and set Dad's morning meds up, changed his chair pads and set up his morning food arrangement. I put the clean dishes away but left the plastic in the drainer on the sink. I ate the last of the strata also. 

  Dad went to bed around 11:00 pm tonight. His meds weren't on the table, neither was the spoon I put them in. I went back upstairs and wrote this blog.

WRAP - Wrote this blog. I wrote a Daily Page too. 

Plans for Tomorrow  I have to prepare his clothing for Nancy. I would like to mow the yard.  I plan on making his Lunch (a grilled cheese sandwich with a fruit salad and a granola bar) and check on the garden, Mom's plants. Iron as much of his clean laundry as I can stand. Make dinner (hot dogs and buns, fruit salad, yam, baked beans maybe roasted potatoes in ranch coating baked in oven.) Set out Dad's meds at night after dinner. Then set up his breakfast place again with his morning meds. The blog and Daily Page. Wash delicate fuzzies tomorrow. I'm going to make hot dogs tomorrow. I talked to Kevin and told him I'd feed him before they leave for the movies. Erika MIGHT come over tomorrow. She has the day off but might be busy.

A reminder: Mom comes back from North Carolina around 4:00 pm, Friday 27th. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev (talked to Kev tonight he'll take Dad to a movie on tomorrow). I need to call about the D Valproex before the week is over.

An Identity Dilemma... That's Not Addressed...

TUESDAY, MAY 24, 2011

Mood - Still tired but functional. I took an allergy pill but before I took a nap along with two Excedrin Migraine pill. I felt out of sorts and dopey all day but not as bad as yesterday. Today wasn't too bad and Dad still wasn't anxious and just took Mom's absence with out any concern. He did voice concern again that she was okay at dinner today. I tried to reassure him and that seemed to work

Physical - Stuffiness in general; I am wheezing. I was still dragging ass most of the day. I went to bed around 3:00 am "last night" after watching Scrubs and Ma Vie en Rose the movie Gary told me he saw when he was younger and identified with.

Woke up -  I woke up at 9:00 am but slept until 10:30 am. 

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did yesterday's Daily Page and Blog. Today I slept later than 9:00 am. Once I got up I checked dad's bed, stripped it and re-made it. I put the sheets in the clothes basket that had the other whites I collected last night. Caryl had some clothes in the washing machine so I threw his in the dryer, after I took the darks out of the dryer, put the whites in the washing machine and turned on the wash cycle. I took the darks and folded them over the couch ends. I called CVS about Dad's Enalipril and reordered it. I then went and gathered all the recyclables up put them in the car and told Dad we needed to go get his medications. he said he wanted to watch his show (Matlock I think,) until 11:00 am but I didn't have time for the dump, CVS and buying milk. he suggested that I pick up everything and do it with out him. I told him he and I would do the medication later after Nancy came and did his shower. So I went to the dump, and then to Shaw's. When I got back I made us lunch, his first - pork chop sandwich, banana and granola bar I had 2 grilled cheese sandwiches and a pork chop one of the half sized ones. I went upstairs after taking out Caryl's clothing from the dryer, dumped his clothing on one side of the day bed and the darks on the other side. I took an allergy pill and the Excedrin then took a nap. 

At 2:45 pm I woke up and went down to see why Nancy wasn't in the bathroom with Dad. (My bedroom clock is 15 minutes fast is why.) I got out the vacuum for the living room and library floors. I folded the clothes on the day bed then vacuumed when Dad and Nancy went upstairs. I then took the trash out from the kitchen with Dad's old didies in a separate bag. I then heated the oven for the strata and talked to Nancy about Dad's bum. After putting the strata in the oven I arranged the buns in a greased dish and the left over yams in a mini dish and poured maple syrup over the yams. I made a green salad and put it in the fridge. Dad and I ate dinner which he claimed to like. And we saw Kevin parking as we pulled out to go to CVS. When we came back from picking up his prescriptions we saw Caryl zoom by us on the Escape Road. Caryl was at the table eating the food I'd left for the boys, they liked it apparently. I packed the leftovers after Dad and I watched Jeopardy. I washed out the coffee amker it had many many ants in it! After I rinsed it out I set it up for Dad for coffee tomorrow. Mom called around 9:00 pm and talked a bit about her trip and what she did today and her talk. She sounded a little relieved. She talked to dad as I took Dad's dirty pants from his closet and put them in the washing machine on the soak cycle. I also took out the white wash from the dryer and folded it. Between watching the movie and doing household chores I was pretty busy today. I came upstairs around 8:30 pm after watching some of dad's shows with him (NCIS and Criminal Minds.) I set dad's night meds up. I went downstairs and brought the whites upstairs and put them away. 

  Dad went to bed around 11:00 pm tonight. I checked to make sure he'd taken his meds. He wasn't coming out so I could powder and lotion up his crotch and bum. So I said goodnight and went to my room. I'd forgotten to set up Dad's breakfast area and morning meds. So I went downstairs, ate 2 bowls of cereal and 4 slices of LOL cheese did the meds and breakfast stuff and looked at his chair pads (they were not soaked or stained so I left them.) I threw the clean laundry into the dryer and went upstairs taking Dad's hung pants and wet pants with me. I hung his wet pants and put them along with all his clean laundry in Mom's room.

WRAP - Wrote this blog. I wrote a Daily Page too. 

Plans for Tomorrow Anita is coming. I plan on making his Lunch (leftovers of the stuffed fish with a green salad and a granola bar) and check on the garden, Mom's plants. Iron as much of his clean laundry as I can stand. Make dinner (hot dogs and buns, fruit or green salad, yam, baked beans maybe roasted potatoes in ranch coating baked in oven.) Set out Dad's meds at night after dinner. Then set up his breakfast place again with his morning meds. The blog and Daily Page. Wash delicate fuzzies tomorrow. Maybe make chicken and dumplings Thursday if Kevin doesn't get Dad soon enough for the movie?

A reminder: Mom comes back from North Carolina around 4:00 pm, Friday 27th. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev (talked to Kev tonight he'll take Dad out to eat and a movie on Thursday). I need to another med before the week is over.

Running Down Now but Still Functioning...

MONDAY, MAY 23, 2011

Mood - More tired but functional. I didn't take an allergy pill. I felt out of sorts and dopey all day. Today wasn't too bad and Dad wasn't anxious and just took Mom's absence with out any concern. He did voice concern that she was okay at dinner today.

Physical - Stuffiness in general even more tired by the time I sat down to watch the boob tube with Dad at night. I was still dragging ass most of the day. I went to bed around 3:00 am "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up at 9:00 am. Dad wanted me to get up, "The delivery men were coming". I told him that that wasn't until 11:00 am and of course they showed up at 10:45 am. I slept between.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. I did yesterday's Daily Page blog. Today I rolled out of bed when Dad told me the delivery men were down in the basement. As I was headed back up the basement stairs James and the girls came in. James brought some stuffed scrod and a huge bag of greens. Dad and I ate that for lunch with some rolls he also brought. James then told me I could go and do what I wanted until 2:30 pm then he had to take off. So I called CVS about the sivastatin for dad and they told me to call back. I wrote up a mini list of things that I needed and went to Shaw's and bought some food. I then went to the Post Office and paid off the PO bill - $62. When I came back I asked Mayle if she'd like to help me get some asparagus and some green onions in the back yard while Leanna slept. I then gave the asparagus to James to take home. I went outside after they took off and rinsed Dad's two pants in the bucket. Then I brought them in and washed them and took them outside and hung them. I replaced the tarp over the bulkhead. 

For dinner I made the saucy pork chops, egg noodles, fruit salad and broccoli. I also prepped the fillings for the strata for tomorrow - kielbasa, cheese, onions and red pepper. we ate dinner around 5:00 pm. On and off I sat and watched a bit of television with Dad. I called CVS after dinner to check on Dad's meds and they were ready. I told them I'd pick them up tomorrow. I washed another laundry, a darks. I went outside, brought in Dad's pants and hung them up to dry inside near the ironing area. I found the cat hurked on my quilt the little bastard. Of course now he's angelically sleeping on Mom's bed. Dad and I watched Jeopardy. I assembled the strata during the commercials. I prepared Dad's clothes for tomorrow and Nancy. Mom called around 8:00 pm and she was on a battleship after having dinner. She sounded really well. I turned on the dishwasher after arranging it so it was full. I came upstairs around 10:30 pm after writing the Daily Page earlier tonight. I set dad's night meds up and told him about them and offered to get him milk so he could take them. When he came up to his room he had his pants off and his adult diaper off. He said he'd shit them so I threw them in a plastic bag and tossed them out. I gave him his pills and some milk and he took the night meds. I moved the dehumidifier back and set up Dad's breakfast area and morning meds. I changed his chair pads also. I threw the clean laundry into the dryer and emptied the dishwasher.

WRAP - Wrote this blog. I wrote a Daily Page too. 

Plans for Tomorrow Strip and make his bed the sheets are messy. I plan on picking up the Simvastatin 20 mgs at CVS. Pick up some milk for Dad. Lunch (leftovers of the Pork chop in a sandwich with some fruit salad,) and check on the garden, Mom's plants. Vacuum both the living room and library. Bake dinner (strata, green salad, yam, something else.) Set out Dad's meds at night after dinner. Then set up his breakfast place again with his morning meds and maybe the coffee maker if there's no coffee left overs. The blog and Daily Page. wash whites tomorrow.

A reminder: Mom comes back from North Carolina around 4:00 pm, Friday 27th. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev (talked to Kev tonight he'll take Dad out to eat and a movie on Thursday.). I need to reorder the Enalapril for Dad before the week is over.

Goodbye Mom...

SUNDAY, MAY 22, 2011

Mood - Tired but functional. I didn't take an allergy pill. I felt out of sorts and my eyes are feeling very swollen. I couldn't hold a note when I sang in church, shortness of breath? Today wasn't too bad and Dad wasn't anxious and just took Mom's absence with out any concern.

Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired by the time I sat down to watch the boob tube with Dad at night. I was still dragging ass most of the day. I went to bed around 2:00 am "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up at 6:00 am. I went to the bathroom but went back to bed after petting Mr. Paul. I inadvertently woke Mom up. I got up at 6:45 am after laying in bed for 45 minutes. I really need to get to bed very early like 9 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page I did three Daily Pages (Thursday, Friday and Saturday,)and two blogs (Friday and Saturday.) Today I took Mom to the airport. I then drove to Coventry to pick up gas for the week but it was at $3.98 and picked it up at the Saunderstown Hess for $3.96 instead. I headed home, did some pre-lunch prep, and fed Paul. Then Dad and I went to church. I wrote a prayer card for Helen's cat. Dad gave $20.00 to the church he said that was how much Mom donated. Whatever. We went home and Dad changed while I made tuna sandwiches for lunch. I gave him a sliced up apple and a granola bar. I then went online for a while. I started dinner: Shepherd's Pie, green salad and sweet potatoes for Dad. He ate all the frigging topping off of the sweet potatoes while he thought he was surreptitiously looking at me to see if I'd yell at him. He ate half of the sweet potatoes so I called it a draw and left him alone. Caryl ate dinner with us. Kevin met us at Fellowship Hall after church. Then he took off not to be physically seen again until well after dinner. I sat and watched Waterworld with Dad as I made dinner. I also watched some news and a few other programs with him. Mom called around 4:00 pm and told Dad she arrived and talked to me. I hope she has a good time. I called James' about the washing machine since they didn't call the house. She eventually told me that they would be coming between 11:00 am and 1:30 pm. I came upstairs around 10:30 pm after writing the 3 Daily Pages I'd forgotten about this week. I still have to move the dehumidifier and set up Dad's breakfast area and morning meds. 

WRAP - Wrote this blog. I wrote 3 Daily Pages and prepped tomorrow's Page too. 

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on waiting for Sears to come with the washing machine between 11:30 am and 1:30 pm. First I need to call CVS about the Simvastatin 20 mgs. Then lunch (leftovers of the Shephard's Pie with some soup added maybe,) and check on the garden, Mom's plants. Make dinner (strata pre-tonight maybe,) Set out Dad's meds at night after dinner. Then set up his breakfast place again with his morning meds and maybe the coffee maker if there's no coffee left overs. And if we get the washing machine - do a laundry or two. Also think about setting up his clothes for Nancy on Tuesday.

A reminder: Mom comes back from North Carolina around 4:00 pm, Friday 27th. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

Late Last Night Not the Night Before, Twenty-four Impressions Came Knocking at my Door...

SATURDAY, MAY 21, 2011

Mood - Tired and groggy. I woke up at 1:00 pm. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill around 2:00 pm. I felt out of sorts and my eyes are feeling very fucked up. I actually can't tell if it's my eyes or if it's my mind. i do know mentally I'm not doing well.

Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up at 1:00 pm. I really need to get to bed very early like 9 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page I didn't even do a Daily page or a blog. I gorked around the house trying to get a hold on what I could do to prepare myself for the next 5 days. I realized that I am not prepared like I was the last time Mom left. This makes me really anxious. I feel like I'm in outer space. Nothing will go wrong is what my psyche tells me but practical knowledge tells me I am seriously under prepared. Practical knowledge tells me that I have to get my shit together. I can't hold on to an idea or activate any kind of real plan for myself and my mind wants to collapse. I'm telling everyone that I am just busy making preparations when I am actually losing control. I feel in control but I know I have lost all sense of time, perspective and a grip on reality. I am living this minute. The next minute does not exist and there for can not be planned for. There is no anywhere. There is no future. There are no consequences. I do not exist. Life is fluid and I am a leaf that does not float down the stream. I am stuck to the bottom of the creek by the twig that kept me on a branch but is holding me under a rock while the water pushes me around wildly. 

WRAP - Wrote this blog.  

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on taking Mom to the airport? I don't really know what's going to happen tomorrow. I'm scared.  

A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad.  Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev - maybe just have Kevin take Dad to church on Sunday morning. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

FRIDAY, MAY 20, 2011

Mood - Tired. I woke up at 12:00 pm. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill around 12:00 pm. 

Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up at 11:30 am. I got myself ready to go to Erika's and asked Mom for a ride.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. Today Bill picked me up from Mom's house but not before I helped Mom in the garden. I mixed some fertilizer with soil for the garden. I went to Carquest with Bill; he needed a jerry can for gas. he dropped me off at Erika's and I spent the rest of the day helping her rearrange the house for the Rudeness a Ska band. I sipped whiskey with Larry all night and was probably an ass. I left at 2 am; Kevin had been passed out in Bill's bed upstairs. I drove him home and went to bed around 3 am but slept at 4 am. I'm trying to think of a way to make myself sleep early tonight so I can get up early every morning. 

WRAP - Nothing.  

Plans for Tomorrow I planned on going to Jon's goodbye bonfire.  

A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad.  Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev - maybe just have Kevin take Dad to church on Sunday morning. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

Late But Done Last Night...

THURSDAY, MAY 19, 2011

Mood - Tired. I woke up at 9:00 am but went back to sleep when I heard my Father's voice. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill around 2:00 pm. 

Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 6:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up again at 1:30 pm.   Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. Today I helped Mom drain (really scoop out the water,) from the pond most of the water leaked out even though the fountain was still going. Fed the fish late. I am really aggravated now that I attended the Rhode Island Bipolar Support Group is over. I don't feel like I can handle this. Being a co-leader with Donna(?) and Jill. Mom took me to Community Church Of Christ  (401) 738-0586  292 W Shore Rd, Warwick, RI for the group. They seem to be very decent people. I felt like my mind was jumping around and I was trying to make pretend I was someone I wasn't. Mom took Dad to Home Town Buffet while I was in the group. We then went home and I came up here wanting to sleep, so tired. I never asked any of the questions that I had in my book. Fuck it all. I feel the fall coming on. 

WRAP - Wrote this blog. I wrote today's Daily page in the car on the way home. 

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on jumping the car by getting AAA to come out and help me. Then I will drive it around for a while WITH NO LIGHTS ON so the battery can maintain a charge. I plan on helping Mom every night when she sets up Dad's plate for the morning with his meds. I plan on going to Erika's house early to help decorate. Getting menu recipes since I've got 5 days of menus ready. Of course the blogging here and another Daily Page as well as working on more WRAP basics. 

A reminder: Tomorrow is Erika's concert at her house. Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Make a shopping list for BJ's. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev - maybe just have Kevin take Dad to church on Sunday morning. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

Derp de Derp Depressing... 2 Days in One Post!!

WEDNESDAY, MAY 18, 2011

Mood - Tired. Still sleeping too much. I took nothing. 

Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 6:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up to Dad carefully asking me if I could make him lunch at 12:00 pm.  I made him a hot dog, sliced up an apple and gave him the last granola bar. Then I angrily called Mom to ask her what was up. I was kind of nasty to her. Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. Today Mom and I went to BJs and I spent over $200.00 in food stamps and cash for all the stuff I bought. I got some food and supplies for when Mom is gone. We then went home and Mom made pork loin, a small one and a green salad some asparagus and green beans for Dad (gout,) and a baked potato for us and a baked yam for him. Kevin started up my car and we drove it to Irving's in North Kingstown for gas until we realized we might not be able to start it up again. So we drove over to Jen's and I asked her if she could just watch her cell phone in case the car needed another jump. We were good and didnt' need to bother her. Once we decided to go to KFT and went inside to talk and eat we came out and the car was dead again. I had to call AAA but Erika showed up and gave the car a jump. Kev and I argued on the way home and he forgot to leave the car running so now it's dead in the driveway and I want to scream.

WRAP - Wrote this blog I will write yesterday's blog.  

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on jumping the car by getting AAA to come out and help me. then i will drive it around for a while WITH NO LIGHTS ON so the battery can maintain a charge. I plan on going to  I'd like to help Mom every night when she sets up Dad's plate for the morning with his meds. I plan on going to the Rhode Island Bipolar Support Group in Warwick near Sandy Lane. getting menu recipes since I've got 5 days of menus ready. Of course the blogging here and another Daily Page as well as working on more WRAP basics. 

A reminder: Thursday you are going to Rhode Island Bipolar Support Group in Warwick near Sandy Lane and down the road from EBC House (those FUCKING BASTARDS!!!) Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Make a shopping list for BJ's. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

This is an article called:

"Underlying Factors in Overeating"

Underlying Factors in Overeating

It turns out expressing anger isn't productive unless coupled with problem-solving techniques.

Shattering Myths About Expressing Your Anger

But what makes things annoying? It's the question that NPR Science Correspondent Joe Palca and Science Friday's Flora Lichtman set out to answer in their new book, Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us.

You Bug Me. Now Science Explains Why.

The 24 hospitals ranked in Psychiatry were named as among the best for challenging cases and procedures by at least 3 percent of psychiatry specialists who responded to U.S. News surveys in 2008, 2009, and 2010. Another 136 hospitals that received nominations from one or more physicians are listed alphabetically below the ranked hospitals.

Top-Ranked Hospitals for Psychiatry

TUESDAY, MAY 17, 2011

Mood - Tired. Still sleeping too much. I took nothing. 

Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 6:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up to Mom telling me it was  1:30 pm but slept until 2:00 pm.  Caryl had called from  Carquest. So I called him back and had to ask Mom for a quick ride into town to help him out with some deliveries and a shuttle run. I fucked up two deliveries.  Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. So I called him back and had to ask Mom for a quick ride into town to help him out with some deliveries and a shuttle run. I fucked up two deliveries. Caryl and I planned on going to BJs after work but it didn't work out. By the time we hit Wendy's we had no time for shopping and a movie. We saw Hesher. It was a good movie, kind of depressing but more like life than most of the Hollywood crap with the flabby happy endings. I watched 12 episodes of Scrubs the first season. I'd have to say it was good therapy just getting my mind off of things.

WRAP - I only wrote a daily page for today. I didn't even write this blog. 

Plans for Tomorrow Get my car started. Maybe go to BJs if Mom gets me up before 7 am. 

A reminder: Thursday you are going to Rhode Island Bipolar Support Group in Warwick near Sandy Lane and down the road from EBC House (those FUCKING BASTARDS!!!) Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Make a shopping list for BJ's. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

Not the Day I was Expecting...

Mood - Tired. Still sleeping too much. I took nothing. 

Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 5:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up on my own 11:30 pm.  I ate a tuna sandwich and pasta salad. Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I did 1 daily page for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. Mom met with Erika, then went to DEM to work on her presentation for the conference. Today I slept from noon until 3:30 pm. I fed Dad lunch actually left it at his place. I wrote down a menu for 5 days. Now I need to get recipes on Food.com and make lunch ideas. I also need to make a BJ's run tomorrow or Wednesday. I'm going to Erika's soon like at 4:30 pm to help assemble for Friday and the band. I'll update this later.
I went and made menus for next week http://www.food.com/menu/mymenus.php they are not finished yet but at least the menus are started. A note, they are posted with letters so I can order them by letter. I need to add the recipes to most of the menus. I don't think my car got a charge. I was feeling worse and worse as the day went on. Mr. Paul was very cute and cheered me up. Kevin came into my room to harass him and then left. 

WRAP - Wrote this blog.   

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on following Mom every night when she sets up Dad's plate for the morning with his meds. I plan on getting menu recipes since I've got 5 days of menus ready. Of course the blogging here and another Daily Page as well as working on more WRAP basics. And maybe working on the art project.

A reminder: Thursday you are going to Rhode Island Bipolar Support Group in Warwick near Sandy Lane and down the road from EBC House (those FUCKING BASTARDS!!!) Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Make a shopping list for BJ's. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

Goodbye Party for Jon...

Mood - Good positive. Not tired. Still sleeping too much. I took nothing. I drank tonight, a shot of vodka, a bloody mary and 2-3 shots (a snifter,) of whiskey.

Physical - Stuffiness in general still tired. I went to bed at 7:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up with Mom telling me it was 1:30 pm.  I ate so much last night. Mini tacos from Trader Joe's, a piece of pizza, guacamole with corn chips, a hot dog, potato salad, a slice of potato and a slice of grilled onion. Something really gooey that Jen S. made and some brownies I made. Everything was gluten-free in honor of Jon, this was his going away party. Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I did 1 daily page for WRAP and a little on a workbook page. I went to Food for Thought and bought the brownie mix, pasta and Greek Olive salad dressing for the party. $15.00 fucking dollars!  (Still noticing that I am having a difficult time driving my car.) Yesterday I had a good talk with Kev. he promised to take Dad out at least one night for dinner and a movie. I am very afraid that since Mom has been staying home Dad has become even more anxious about her presence. He acts like Rakesh did when we lived together. He is always asking where my Mother is and wanting her to come see all sorts of stupid things like a mouse that ran across the living room floor and the daily news. I don't know how he's going to react when she leaves for the week.

Car, Kev and I drove over to Lar & Lea's house around 6:00 pm. We enjoyed ourselves. It was cloudy today but warmish. I wrote this blog entry.   

WRAP - Wrote this blog.  I wrote a little more in the WRAP Workbook. 

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on going to Erika's house and helping her out. I also plan on finding out how her talk with Mom went. I am freaking out about Mom leaving on Sunday. Of course the blogging here and another Daily Page as well as working on more WRAP basics. And maybe working on the art project.

A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Make a shopping list for BJ's. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Post the menu. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

An excerpt of some serious talk when I messaged a friend on Facebook:

"I am very hard on myself. I want to be that person that doesn't care about other people and doesn't see when people get hurt. I feel other people's pain viscerally and I am not glad that that is one of my traits. It's not a bad empathic trait but it doesn't help the depression I experience. The fact that I deal with Bipolar disorder is also something that I have a hard time handling. I was raised being told I was lazy and I just needed to get off my ass. So my inner critical voice chants that at me all the time. It makes the symptoms worse and makes me hate myself all the more. Trying to change the inner critical voice that has developed over 40+ years is challenging. It also turns me into a 5 year old instantly no matter what I'm doing or who I'm with. It's something I am working on. Stigma is easier to change in a society than it is to change within yourself. Especially if that society constantly reinforces it. 

Anyway I will stop with the psycho self help. 

I wish that you felt different about L and L and that whole group. I don't think they know you. I don't think you've been there enough to experience the dynamics of the group. I also know that you feel how you feel. I would not like to be the person to tell you that what you feel is wrong because you feel how you feel. I can't make things any better although I would like to. That is one of those stupid empathic feelings I have. A need to make other people feel accepted. I really don't ever feel fully accepted even with the people I love. It makes it terribly hard to trust people and enjoy life. That's where booze comes in I guess.

I think you are right about being not so serious about life. Unfortunately sometimes I have to manage that with medication. I really hate medication but until I can get my mind under control and master my symptoms and how to deal with them through talking to myself and handling the negative thoughts that run rampant through my brain, I will have to medicate the worst symptoms so that I can have a close to normal life. 

I've been ignoring my reality and confused about what to do as far as how much control I have over my illness that it's been years of neglect to my psyche and body. I have told myself that I am going to pay attention to myself and really work through some of the bad things that have happened to me and stop denying that I sustained serious psychological damage from it. It is long and slow work though but it will take as long as it has to take. Who else will love me the way I want to be loved but me? I am not a bad person and I don't deserve bad things.

(And this is where Stuart Smalley comes in and says "'Cause I'm good enough and I'm smart enough and GOSH DARN IT people like me!")"

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Some Go Up, Some Go Down...

Mood - Good it carried over from yesterday. 7:00 am. Tired. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill and 2 Excedrin Migraine pills immediately when I got up at 1:00 pm. I was up and down today. I cried today and felt better with Kev.

Physical - Stuffiness on left side of head when I got up, nose is stuffed, stuffed itchy throat, puffy feeling eyes, and tired. Maybe the start of a migraine my head was sore in "morning" (1:00 pm). I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up with Mom telling me it was 1:00 pm.  I ate nothing after we ate dinner at Camden's last night.  Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I did 1 daily page for WRAP and some workbook pages. I also photocopied some Daily Pages for the future. Today I woke up at 1:30 pm. Mom and I took down the clothing that was hanging on the line outside. I mowed the lawn in front of the house.  I couldn't start my car the battery was discharged.  (Still noticing that I am having a difficult time driving my car.) 

When the boys came home we cleaned out an area downstairs so we could bring in a new washing machine. Then Mom and I went to Rite Aide to get some masks for cleaning. We came back and Mom made salmon, asparagus, yams with nut topping and a green salad. Erika called to ask about Memorial Day and Kevin and James' birthdays. We talked about Dad and the week Mom leaves for North Carolina. I got so unset I took the alprazolam that C. Rosa prescribed for me before the trip to Germany. (I'm very scared about the week following this week ahead. Mom leaves on the 22nd. I haven't even finished the shopping list or menu. I afraid that Dad will try to do something stupid and someone will get hurt.) 

Kevin came home after taking my car out a few times to help the battery regenerate. Mom had taken Dad out for an ice cream. Kevin and I dove to Jon's house but couldn't find it. We had a good talk of current events. We went to KFT and had a meal. It was cloudy today but warm. I wrote this blog entry.   

WRAP - Wrote this blog. Last night I posted all the blogs that had been prevented from being posted the night before. I wrote Friday's Daily Page. I wrote more in the WRAP Workbook. For now these pages will be referred to the WRAP WB even though there is other types of activities included. 

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on going to Jon's party at Leanna and Larry's house. Of course the blogging here and another Daily Page as well as working on more WRAP basics. And maybe working on the art project.

A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Post the menu. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

Some Good Things Accomplished...

Mood - Good considering I went to sleep at 7:00 am. Tired. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill and 2 Excedrin Migraine pills immediately when I got up at 11:30 am.

Physical - Stuffiness on left side of head when I got up, nose is stuffed, stuffed itchy throat, puffy feeling eyes, and tired. No migraine but head was sore in "morning". I went to bed at 7:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up when Ofelia first called this morning at 9:39 am. Mom bugged me and bugged me to go to the laundromat with her so I got up at 11:30 am thanks to Mom.  I went to bed around 4:00 am last "night" didn't sleep until about 7 am. I ate the leftover pasta and eggplant around 11:30 pm.  Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I did 2 daily pages for WRAP and some workbook pages. Today I woke up at 11:30 am. I went to the laundromat with Mom and our clothes. (I'm noticing that I am having a difficult time driving my car. A serious aversion to getting in it and driving it has developed over the past two or three months. I don't know why. I am also developing a difficulty in calling people and contacting them through txt messaging and phone calls, partly because of memory/distraction problems partly through avoidance of talking at all to humans. I am getting those weird feelings that people don't like me, are lying to me and want to hurt me.) 

We left the laundry to wash went back and got Dad's lunch ready for him. (I'm very scared about the week following this week ahead. Mom leaves on the 22nd. I haven't even finished the shopping list or menu.) Mom and I checked the clothes then went to ZuZu's for lunch. We each had two pieces of pizza and a soda, the special for $4.99. It came out to $10. 73 and I paid out of gratitude for all my Mother does for me. We went back and separated the clothes - a large bag full for home and hanging outside on the line and 2 wash baskets full for the dryers. We went home and hung the laundry. I noticed I needed to feed the fish they were looking right at me. So I went into the library and there was a bird (Mom found out from an identifier book that it was a brown headed cowbird,) hopping on the floor next to the aquarium looking at me. Mom and I chased it out of the house with 2 nets.

We agreed to got to the basement and gather all the toxic substances we needed to get rid of tomorrow at the Pier Beach recycling appointment. We found 3 crates full of cleaning fluids, paints, a small battery, some old dirty motor oil, and other toxic things many very old many unidentifiable. It was sunny today and warm. I wrote this blog entry.   

WRAP - Wrote this blog. Last night I added to Wednesday's Daily Page that was abbreviated. I wrote Tuesday's Daily Page referencing from Tuesday's Blog. I'm proud that I am trying to keep up with my promise of writing and recording activities in the Daily Pages and the blogs. I wrote more in the WRAP Workbook. For now these pages will be referred to the WRAP WB even though there is other types of activities included. I added a separator between the art page and made another new activity page on the RIBP Support Group with questions I hope to ask about the handling of the new group.

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on going to the toxic recycling thing with Mom. Of course the blogging here and another Daily Page as well as working on more WRAP basics. And maybe working on the art project.

A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Post the menu. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!

This is Thursday's Post Since The Blog was Out of Order...

THURSDAY, MAY 12, 2011

Up Down and All Around I Need an Improvement...

Mood - Ok. Tired. Still sleeping too much. Migraine later in day around 5:00 pm right after dinner. Ice applied under the head and on top of my forehead helped but I am still feeling not so great. I also took 2 Excedrin Migraine pills.

Physical - Stuffiness, stuffed itchy throat, puffy feeling eyes, and tired. No migraine in "morning". I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night".

Woke up -  I woke up at 8:00 am confused thinking I slept the day away and went back to sleep. 1:30 pm I got up.  I went to bed around 4:00 am last "night" didn't sleep until about 5 am. I ate the whole can of honey roasted nuts 11.5 oz. and bag of peanut butter stuffed pretzels around  9:00 pm.  Again going to try to go to bed before 4 am.

Activities - Last night I added some more inner pieces of the tiger puzzle James brought me from Japan. I watched Hot Tub Time Machine and Angus. Today I woke up at 1:30 pm. I called James around 1:41 and Food Stamps at 1:35 pm to report Kevin is 22 now.  I'm noticing that I am having a difficult time driving my car. A serious aversion to getting in it and driving it has developed over the past two or three months. I don't know why. I am also developing a difficulty in calling people and contacting them through txt messaging and phone calls, partly because of memory/distraction problems partly through avoidance of talking at all to humans. I am getting those weird feelings that people don't like me, are lying to me and want to hurt me.

I went outside and helped Mom dig up the garden for a few hours. Then checked the movie times and planned on going to the movie Thor with her and Dad. It didn't work out per the migraine.

Mom made a pork chops with baked potatoes, fruit salad and summer squash and zucchini. It was cloudy today and cold. I wrote this blog entry. Checked Facebook and replied to some posts screwed around and apologized for a virus that posted to all my Facebook friends.  

WRAP - Wrote this blog. Last night I wrote a page for yesterday's Daily Page that was abbreviated. I plan on writing Tuesday's Daily Page now referencing the Blog from Tuesday. I'm happy that I am trying to keep up with my promise of writing and recording activities in the Daily Pages and the blogs. I'm not too happy that I haven't put too much in to the WRAP activities. For now these pages will be referred to the WRAP pages even though there is other types of activities included.

Plans for Tomorrow I on going to Billy Goode's and meeting Erika there for the ska show. We'll see about that. Of course the blogging here and another Daily Page as well as working on more WRAP basics. And maybe working on the art project.

A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Review appointments and come up with a realistic activity (at least one,) you both can do together that you can enjoy together. Post the menu. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!