Last night I had the flu. I was up and down all night long shivering then in the bathroom. Then once I got up I had a migraine. I don't expect special attention. God forbid that with my Father in his condition. The one thing that bothers me though is my Mother acts like I planned it or I was faking it. I know that I am miserable. I fucking live here for chrissakes! That shit heel should have been gone by now! I feel weird being angry at him but he always was all about him. If I was sick as a child he could've cared less or he always questioned me like I was lying. So I always feel guilty when I'm sick. She wasn't much better. She had little sympathy for me when I was sick. She did do the lunch in bed thing. She was good at remembering medications. When it came down to it illness meant a short period then it was back to work. And if you couldn't work you must be lying or useless. This place depresses me. My life as it is depresses me. I know that when it comes to important issues I am not being heard. I am still not taken seriously here and the treatment hasn't changed.
I don't know how to communicate with people that don't plan on changing. I don't know how to change my own situation to make things different. I am living in a purgatory with Hell as a future. No wonder I am depressed.