FRIDAY, JULY 22, 2011
Mood - I got up. Before the first alarm rang it's Bhungra song. I was surprised to be awake before 9 am on my own with no direct purpose for getting up i.e. an appointment. I was bitchy towards Mom she was so cheery this morning. I felt groggy all day. My eyes felt puffy and droopy. Yesterday with E proved wrong. She suggested that she get her friend to pay for the honey extractor. That made me feel better because it seems to mean that she realizes that Mom is in dire straights. I was lucky today. I also cried today twice (!) and dealt with Mom getting mad at Dad at CVS.
Physical - I woke up 8:54 am. I went to bed but played on the iPod for a while. My knee is sore but tonight wasn't so bad walking with K around Lil' Comfort. The back of my knee and the muscles in the back of my leg feel like the cramping after over exercising and hurting a muscle still but muted. My period is almost totally gone. I've had it for about 13 days now but Wednesday is when I really saw red. I didn't take a shower after swimming today. I feel sticky and skanky. My left top eyelid twitch a little but not noticeably. I did a nominal amount of activity today.
Woke up - I woke up 8:54 am on my own. I took the excedrin and allergy meds but not the Aleve.
Activities -I went to bed around 2:00 am. I didn't close the curtains but fell asleep. I was tired but woke up on my own at 8:54 am. I didn't notice the knee because it wasn't that stiff like the past times when I get out of bed. Mom had greeted me when I was in my room but I was rude to her. Between 9 am and 11 am N and I texted about C and the Tlingit & Haida ID and C's requirements to get them. she sent me two pictures: 1 of her parents and one of her and her husband for C. I fed the fish. I ate 2 pieces of pizza from last night. We went to town to get Dad's meds but he caught us before we left the driveway. He said he didn't want to come but hustled his fat ass out anyway. Mom stopped by the cleaners with the ties she found and deemed okay from yesterday. Mom needed to stop by AAA to pick up her Triptik for New York. As Dad and I were in the car (I thought Mom wouldn't take but a few minutes but it was busy,) Dad slathered sunblock all over his face. He stank so bad of piss and lotion it made me sick so I snuck into the AAA office and hung out with Mom before she was done. We then went to CVS for Dad's meds. I was going to stop by CQ to pick up my car but opted out since the traffic was so bad. We returned home and I went online for a while while Mom made Dad lunch. I looked into a journal I hadn't written in since about 2008 and discovered $80! So I stuffed it in my purse. Around 2:00 pm Mom discovered the tide was still coming up. So we went swimming and the tide was still low enough to touch the flats with our hands while paddling. I didn't take a shower after swimming today. Mom and I decided to go into town because we needed to get benedryl for Dad. His face started to swell from the lotion he'd dumped on his face. After calling Erika she called Dad's GP who told Mom to gently but thoroughly rinse of Dad's face with cool clear water. If he got worse she was to call the GP again. As Mom called and looked for the Benedryl I walked quickly over to the bank and deposited $60. I went back and bought a 12 pack of Diet Mountain Dew, and two 12 packs of caffeine free Diet Pepsi. I figure I'll drink the caffeine free soda at night so that I don't stay up too late and maybe sleep more normal hours. I got a $3 coupon so I took the soda to the car and came back in and bought some Always pads at a great discount since they were on sale: 28 for $5.99 with the $3 coupon! What a great day! Such little things but a boost to my seriously unstable condition lately.
We came home and I went back online. I felt totally overwhelmed and started crying again. I found many links for the WRAP blog. Mom grilled steak outside and we had leftover Jell-o salad, stir fried rice and summer squash for dinner outside at the picnic table. We also drank slightly sweetened iced tea. I broke a plate trying to balance everything coming in. C and K came in and Mom had saved some steak for C. So I added some charcoal to the grill and C got that ready and dealt with the steak while I assembled his plate. Jell-o salad, baked potato and squash with a Diet Pepsi from my room. he and I talked as he ate. the mosquitos are horrendous outside at night. I asked K when we were going for coffee. We'd planned it on Wednesday night so that he'd have some money because at that point I'd only had less than $20 in the bank. He said when he was ready so I went back upstairs and found more links for the WRAP blog. I also bought 3 restaurant.com gift certificates for J's birthday and E's birthday. Damn I'm an idiot! I thought they were from some other company or the original restaurants not restaurant.com. Restaurant.com always has these provisos that you want to read before you order the certificates like the ones on these: $50 dollar certificates, you have to order at least $100 dollars in order to use the fucking things!! ASS BASKETS! Oh well. Temple for J's birthday, Cuban Revolution for E's birthday and Redlefsen's Rotisserie & Grill for Mom. Deal with it ladies!
K and I went to Brewed Awakenings for coffee and I got a chocolate cake which was good except the frosting tasted like cheap plastic. Weird. We actually had a very good talk but I broke down and cried at least twice during our discussion. I'm pretty emotional these days. It really sucks. We came back and I went back online and am finishing this blog. Before I came upstairs to my room I swaddled P in a towel and Mom gave him his pill. Today was INCREDIBLY HOT. Both fans are on in my room.
WRAP - I wrote today's blog. I wrote today's Daily Page.
Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on doing an activity for WRAP. I have to finish decorating the piñata. I have an appointment at the Diagnostics Imaging company in the hospital at noon time but need to show up at 11:45 am with a list of the medications (OTC also,) I've been taking. I also have to help Mom with P's pill.
{I want to change a bad habit so that I 1) Stop doing something bad 2) exchange the bad action with a positive action 3) and get a result that will help me in my life.}
A reminder: I have an appointment at Radiologist Imaging on Saturday at noon but need to go in 15 minutes before with a list of the medications I take OTC and prescribed. J is coming on the 28th of July for a few weeks. E asked Mom to pick him up that day and Mom asked B if he'd come to Boston with her. We are also planning a family party to coincide with J's stay in RI. Mom will be going to NY the weekend of C's birthday, the 15th and the 14th August. E and J are planning on going with her so I need to plan for at least 2 days worth of menus. August 17th Mom is having the cataract surgery. I need to make sure I schedule nothing for 3 days. Mom will need my help then. I need to glue tissue paper on the piñata and decorate it the July birthday party cookout. I can't find the little gifts from the last piñata. I also need to wrap E's and L's gifts. I also need to buy L a gift since we are planning to combine the August and July birthdays in one celebration while Jerome is here. ALSO CALL JONNYCAKE CENTER FOR FOOD BASKETS OR EXTRA FOOD. AND MAIL THE ENVELOPE TO HUMAN SERVICES. Sept. 19 through October 1st I will be in Philadelphia. There's a conference Sept 18 through the 21st. in Philadelphia too.
Things that gave me joy today and things that made me feel better about myself:
Joy: I was able to have an adult conversation with K.
Made me feel better about myself: I got through a fucking HOT HOT day.
Links I Discovered While Online:
MI
http://www.healthyplace.com/
HealthyPlace.com is the largest consumer mental health site, providing comprehensive, trusted information on psychological disorders and psychiatric medications from both a consumer and expert point of view. We have an active mental health social network for support, online psychological tests, breaking mental health news, mental health videos, our documentary films, a live mental health tv show, unique tools like our "mediminder" and more. We're glad you found us.
ISSUES
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/231597.php
Unhappy People Avoid Eye Contact - New Research -
One suggestion Dr Hills has proposed is that avoiding eye contact may actually increase depression amongst already unhappy individuals, as it can lead to isolation.
ISSUES
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/treatinganxiety/2011/07/anxiety-denied-is-not-anxiety-extinguished/
Anxiety Denied Is Not Anxiety Extinguished
July 22nd, 2011 / by Kate White
Fear denied, repressed, suppressed, or put out of mind is not fear extinguished.
ISSUES
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/treatinganxiety/2010/08/anxiety-management-the-key-signs-of-stress-and-panic/
Anxiety Management: The Key Signs of Stress and Panic
August 24th, 2010 / by Kate White
It’s all well and good to talk about anxiety awareness, but first you need to know what to look for: What are the signs of anxiety and stress?
ISSUES
http://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/insights-into-anxiety/symptoms-of-anxiety/menu-id-1235/
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2 Pages
Symptoms of anxiety can cover the full physical, emotional and psychological range. The main symptoms people experience may be heart palpitations, racing heart, shortness of breath, nausea, shaking, etc. In fact any of the symptoms listed below can be symptoms of anxiety. An anxiety attack is the experience of up to four of these symptoms, although people may have more. Over four is considered a panic attack. It is important to have symptoms checked out by your doctor to make sure there is nothing physically wrong. It is important that you don't self-diagnose.
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/treatinganxiety/2010/12/mental-health-its-kind-of-like-gravity/
MI
Mental Health: It’s Kind of Like Gravity…
December 14th, 2010 / by Kate White
…you don’t notice it’s there, until you’re falling.
http://www.healthyplace.com/radioshowblog/understanding-fear-anxiety-and-panic/
ACTIVITIES
Understanding Fear, Anxiety, and Panic
November 28th, 2010 / by Holly Gray
Jeff Wise says understanding fear isn’t as simple as the fight or flight model suggests. He believes coping with anxiety and panic is easier with a more sophisticated grasp of how our minds respond to fear. Jeff is a science writer and the author of Extreme Fear: The Science of Your Mind in Danger.
Jeff discusses the science of fear, why the fight or flight model is an oversimplification, and how understanding fear can help us cope with anxiety and panic on the HealthyPlace Mental Health Radio Show.
ACTIVITIES
http://www.healthyplace.com/insight/audios/mental-health-experiences/menu-id-2106/
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Written by HealthyPlace.com Staff Writer
Oct 02, 2009
| HealthyPlace members share their experiences of living with a mental illness. Listen to their comments and learn. Call and share your thoughts. |
Share Your Experiences on Living with a Mental Illness
Are you living with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, an addiction, or another mental health condition? Maybe you have a family member or loved one with an eating disorder or who self-injures.
By sharing your experiences, you can provide insight and help others learn more about the illness, diagnosis and treatments, and coping strategies. It also lets others, facing similar situations, know that they are not alone in their feelings and experiences.
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Call our toll-free number 1-888-883-8045 , or record a message directly from our site using your computer microphone. Tell us what it's like living with a mental health condition (the positives and/or negatives), what works for you and doesn't, how you or your loved one's mental health condition impacts your (and your family's) daily life, the stigma you face, or anything else you want to talk about. You can even respond to other people's comments.
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ISSUES
http://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/anxiety-self-help/treatment-for-anxiety-disorders/menu-id-1219/
Treatment for Anxiety Disorders
Written by Christine Evans
Feb 19, 2007
Can Anxiety Disorders Be Treated?
| Fortunately, the vast majority of people with an anxiety disorder can be helped with the right professional care. There are no guarantees, and success rates vary with the circumstances. Treatment periods vary. Some individuals require only a few months of treatment, while others need a year or more. People with anxiety disorders often have more than one disorder, which can complicate treatment. Equally, substance abuse and clinical depression often co-exist in patients with an anxiety disorder. |
ISSUES
http://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/main/different-kinds-of-stress/menu-id-69/
The Different Kinds of Stress
Written by Lyle H. Miller, Ph.D., and Alma Dell Smith, Ph.D.
Feb 19, 2007
| Learn about the different types of stress that can affect us. |
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