TUESDAY, JULY 19, 2011
Mood - I didn't want to go out today. I think in less than 2 days I offended SM, Jill and maybe others I don't remember. I am angry and unacceptable, swearing and nasty. I watched an Hoarding episode and it was so negayive that I am watching "Dream A Little Drean" a really bad Coreys comedy from the 80's. I feel outside of humanity not less than normal not even mediocre i am just not with it.
Physical - I woke up 11:30 am after waking up 2 times earlier. My knee is sore but my calf muscle is still aching like I strained the muscle. The back of my knee and the muscles in the back of my leg feel like the cramping after over exercising and hurting a muscle. I twisted something in my knee after crossing the road from Crazy Burger to C's car Sunday. My period is still here just not as much as before. I've had it for about 10 days now but Wednesday is when I really saw red. I had what I thought was the beginnings of a migraine headache once I got back to Carquest. I feel sticky and skanky. My left top eyelid is still hardly twitching at all today. I did a good amount of activity today.
Woke up - I got up around 7:40 am. My Mother was in the bathroom so I lay down to relieve the pressure on my bladder and fell asleep again. I woke up again at 10:00 am. I actually got up at 11:30 am when Mom told me she was going swimming and went with her. I forget to take the excedrin and allergy meds as well as the Aleve.
Activities -I went to bed around 2:00 am. I didn't close the curtains but fell asleep. I was tired and didn't wake up officially until Mom came into my room to ask me to go swimming. When I did get up my right calf hurt and the knee didn't want to be bent. I went to the bathroom and did my business, then went to my room and got my bathing suit on. When Mom and I got back C texted me and asked if I could drive this afternoon. I called SoCo Walk-in and changed my 2:15 pm to 10:00 am Wednesday (tomorrow). I took a shower then told C I could. E and Sz came by to go swimming at George's Beach. I went online for a little while until I had to leave for CQ. Once I got there a little migraine began. I went to the NK CQ and picked up some stuff. I brought them back and C had me go to QT then to SC. I came back so I could get a few more things to take to P.
I went back and spent time at CQ until 5:30 pm.
I had about an eighth of a tank of gas so I left early enough to find a station that was cheaper. I had called Mom to ask her if she knew if the Hess near Thayer Arena was cheaper than the gas stations down here. She called me back with three suggestions. Once I got up to Warwick I went to the Hess next to the T. F. Green Airfield. I drove to the WPL for group but only Jill was there. We talked until about 7:30 pm and left without talking about the next meeting. I drove the long way back but before hand called E to see if she was going to be in Warwick. She said she'd be home in half an hour if I wanted to stop there. I stopped at the Subway at Tower Hill crossroad and ordered a footlong with all of the vegetables, a diet coke and a bag of baked chips. I ate it while I drove to E's house. I hung out at E's house until about 10:30 pm. Once I returned home I helped Mom clean P's abscess and feed him his pill. I went online and messaged T from RIBSG while on facebook. I am tired and weary of talking to people and feeling like I am inappropriate.
WRAP - I wrote today's blog. I wrote today's Daily Page.
Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on doing an activity for WRAP. I have to finish decorating the piñata. I have an appointment at 10:15 am at SoCo Walk-in. I also have to help Mom with P's head and pill.
{I want to change a bad habit so that I 1) Stop doing something bad 2) exchange the bad action with a positive action 3) and get a result that will help me in my life.}
A reminder: J is coming on the 28th of July for a few weeks. E asked Mom to pick him up that day and Mom asked B if he'd come to Boston with her. We are also planning a family party to coincide with J's stay in RI. Mom will be going to NY the weekend of C's birthday, the 15th and the 14th August. E and J are planning on going with her so I need to plan for at least 2 days worth of menus. August 17th Mom is having the cataract surgery. I need to make sure I schedule nothing for 3 days. Mom will need my help then. I need to glue tissue paper on the piñata and decorate it the July birthday party cookout. I can't find the little gifts from the last piñata. I also need to wrap E's and L's gifts. I also need to buy L a gift since we are planning to combine the August and July birthdays in one celebration while Jerome is here. ALSO CALL JONNYCAKE CENTER FOR FOOD BASKETS OR EXTRA FOOD. AND MAIL THE ENVELOPE TO HUMAN SERVICES. Sept. 19 through October 1st I will be in Philadelphia. There's a conference Sept 18 through the 21st. in Philadelphia too.
Things that gave me joy today and things that made me feel better about myself:
Joy: I didn't eat any fast food.
Made me feel better about myself: I came home.
Other Stuff I Discovered While Online:
http://www.bphope.com/bphopeblog/post/Are-You-Ever-Tempted-to-Abandon-Your-Meds.aspx
Published by Melody Moezzi at 10:55 AM
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steph-thompson/midlife-going-out_b_898463.html?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl7%7Csec1_lnk3%7C78555&ref=fb&src=sp
Out There Again... If Even Just for the Night
Posted: 7/15/11 09:00 AM ET
STEPH THOMPSON
Finding themselves newly single in their 40s, my friends have epiphanies about themselves as if they have been reborn, as if who they see in the mirror is someone new. It is not always pretty, that vision, the one they have to present to others to judge.
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