FRIDAY, JULY 15, 2011
Mood - Tired and totally unmotivated. Always on the verge of crying. The past keeps invading my thoughts. I am beginning to become very suspicious of Mom and don't trust her so the paranoia is becoming a problem.
Physical - I got up around 12:30 pm. My knee is sore and hurts this morning. I took the meds. when I got up. I also took 2 Aleve for the pain in my knee. I had low grade migraine throughout the day. Went to the Warwick Museum of Art and walked around the exhibit. We also went to The Diner for dinner. My period is in full swing. I've had it for about 4 days now but Wednesday is when I really saw red. I felt crappy and had diarrhea once I got home fro the Diner.
Woke up - I woke up 12:30 pm. I didn't take the gummi vitamins at all today but did take the allergy/excedrin around 12:30 pm as well as Aleve about an hour later.
Activities -I went to bed around 6:00 am. I closed the curtains and dove into sleep even though a lawnmower was whining most of the morning. I was tired most of the day but not as bad off as yesterday but a migraine lay at the back of my head. I was able to get up but had a hard time waking up. I went to the bathroom, did my business, went to my room, opened the curtains and lay down. N had texted me while I was passed out so I texted her back about her house blessing tonight. Mom asked me if I wanted to go with her and Dad to see Theater in the Round at The Warwick Museum of Art. We drove up there around 1:30 pm while I ate the rest of my raisin cinnamon bagel. Once we got there Dad didn't know what we were doing there. he thought for some reason that we were going to see "the little girls". he didn't seem to be doing too well. When we entered the room he went over and snagged a bag of cookies. I told him that they had to be paid for and he looked at me with a dense look and wandered to the seats and watched the movie that Bettencourt made about the Warwick Musical Theater. I paid the woman after she came out from the room behind the table explaining what happened. Mom and I wandered by the pictures and play bills and t-shirts admiring the history. Dad became increasingly irritated. The pout came out. Mom finally said, "I think we'll have to go now, he seems to be getting annoyed." So we left.
Once we got home I went online. I ate 6 hot dogs raw I think. Around 5:30 pm even though Mom couldn't find Paul we left for dinner at The Lighthouse Diner. Mom confused Dad inadvertently by asking him too much about what he wanted for dinner. You have to be very specific with Dad, an entree and maybe an appetizer. dad ordered an appetizer, a side salad, and an entree. his hands were shaking pretty noticeably as he ate. he ate EVERYTHING. It was disgusting but no one said anything.
Once I went home I went online. I did this blog and yesterday and today's Daily Pages. I also watched Jesus' Son which seemed to be lacking. Probably a movie that's best to have read the book first. I wrote some thoughts in my Purse notebook. I also talked to Natasha before we left for the diner. She doesn't seem to give too much of a shit about how I'm really doing. She doesn't ask in depth questions and seems to just talk and talk about her problems. It gets boring listening and not really having to say anything except uh huh, and yeah. I try to listen to see what her life is about and the people that she is dealing with because she does have many things going on. She can sometimes act like E, talking aimlessly about things. And when she gives advice to me she doesn't have a clue who she's talking to. I rarely feel like she's helped me out. I keep hoping that maybe someday we can see each other again. At the same time I am afraid to also.
WRAP - I wrote today's blog. I wrote today and yesterday's Daily Pages.
Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on doing an activity for WRAP. I have to finish decorating the piñata.
{I want to change a bad habit so that I 1) Stop doing something bad 2) exchange the bad action with a positive action 3) and get a result that will help me in my life.}
A reminder: On the 19th is the RIBSG at Warwick Public Library room 100, 6:30 pm. Jerme is coming on the 28th of July for a few weeks. E asked Mom to pick him up that day and Mom asked B if he'd come to Boston with her. Mom will be going to NY the weekend of C's birthday, the 15th and the 14th August. E and Jerome are planning on going with her so I need to plan for at least 2 days worth of menus. August 17th Mom is having the cataract surgery. I need to make sure I schedule nothing for 3 days. Mom will need my help then. I need to glue tissue paper on the piñata and decorate it the July birthday party cookout. I can't find the little gifts from the last piñata. I also need to wrap E's and L's gifts (when SM's gift comes.) I also need to buy L a gift since we are planning to combine the August and July birthdays in one celebration while Jerome is here. ALSO CALL JONNYCAKE CENTER FOR FOOD BASKETS OR EXTRA FOOD. AND MAIL THE ENVELOPE TO HUMAN SERVICES. Sept. 19 through October 1st I will be in Philadelphia. There's a conference Sept 18 through the 21st. in Philadelphia too.
Things that gave me joy today and things that made me feel better about myself:
Joy: Enjoying the exhibit.
Made me feel better about myself: I did get out of the house.
Other Stuff I Discovered While Online:
Unruhe - unrest
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