It's A Twofer...

A Long Lost Gimpy Day...

SATURDAY, JULY 2, 2011

Mood - I went to bed around 1:00 am. I went to sleep around 2:00 am. I didn't eat after 8:00 pm. My mood: kind of dopey most of the day until we took a walk to Galilee. I was in major pain enough that I cried going home.

Physical - I got up around 11:30 am but slowly. My knee really is sore and hurts still but not like yesterday night although my calf is very sore. I felt dopey until I drank about 2 diet pepsis today. My leg improved but didn't get 100% better. 

Woke up - I woke up all through the night whenever I rolled over wrong on my knee. I lay in bed, groggy then got up and went to the bathroom about 3 times. I took the migraine meds and the allergy pill. I also took the gummi vitamins at 8:30 pm. I ate an onion bagel with melted cheese around 12:15 pm.

Activities - I fed the fish around 3:00 pm. I added papier-mâché to the piñata form most of the day. Erika came after Dad had his lunch to help by programming the Verizon remote to be the main television remote. He keeps on f#cking it up because he can't remember how to operate it. And he's far past making new memories now. Mom and I put the table in the correct spot and we raised the umbrella after marking and locating the umbrella stand. I did help Mom out by taking the plates and vegetables and other things outside for her steak tips cookout. We had steak tips grilled, chard, green salad and stuffed potatoes for dinner. I took the leftovers and dirty dishes inside and put the food away and the dishes in the dishwasher. I continued with the papier-mâché. I took about 5 rolls of toilet paper up to the second floor bathroom. 

WRAP - Wrote the blog for today and yesterday. I wrote today's Daily Page. 

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on accomplishing an activity for the WRAP book. K and I are going to go to BJ's to pick up granola bars because I told him he had to since he ate so many of the damned things this week. That was a box of 48 and I told him I wasn't telling him to shame him but he needed to stop eating them instead of regular food. I am also angry because I feel like he thinks I have tons of money to buy the stupid bars. I buy them for Dad since he loves the things and it's one thing I can do for him. SM wants a cordless phone with 3 extra phones for her birthday next month. I'll also work on the piñata adding papier-mâché to the form.

  

{I want to change a bad habit so that I 1) Stop doing something bad 2) exchange the bad action with a positive action 3) and get a result that will help me in my life.}

A reminder: K and I are planning on going to Bj's instead of doing Indian this week; we'll do it next week. Kat is planning on a potluck at her house on Sunday July 2nd. July 4th, Erika, Peter, Selena and their girls are NOT coming but James, Sui May and their girls are. I hope to see if they want to go to the South County museum to see the chicks. July 11th, 12th and 13th Jane is planning on coming to the Dutch Inn with her boys. Mom will be going to NY the weekend of C's birthday, the 15th and the 14th. E is planning on going with her so I need to plan for at least 2 days worth of menus. I need to papier-mâché the piñata the fourth of July cookout. I have the little gifts from the last pinata, I just need candy. I also need to wrap E's gift and buy SM a telephone. ALSO CALL JONNYCAKE CENTER FOR FOOD BASKETS OR EXTRA FOOD. AND MAIL THE ENVELOPE TO HUMAN SERVICES. Sept. 19 through October 1st I will be in Philadelphia. There's a conference Sept 18 through the 21st. in Philadelphia too. 

Things that gave me joy today and things that made me feel better about myself:

Joy: I am close to being done with the piñata.

Made me feel better about myself: I talked to K about the granola bars as I intended on doing. 

 [This template uses the Times Roman 20.0 pt. font.]

My Knee Goes Out And Takes My Sanity With It...

FRIDAY, JULY 1, 2011

Mood - I went to bed around 3:30 am. I went to sleep around 4:30 am. I didn't eat after 10:00 pm. My mood kind of dopey most of the day but we got many things done. 

Physical - I got up around 10:30 am but slowly. My knee really is sore and hurts weirdly still a little more. I had a small headache. Mostly I felt very dopey all day. 

Woke up - I woke up around 10:30 pm. I lay in bed, groggy for a little while. I took the migraine meds, the allergy pill and the gummi vitamins when I got up. I felt nauseous until after we ate in the afternoon .

Activities - I fed the fish around 2:00 pm. I went to town with Mom. First we went to Anchor Storage and I paid the $163.00 bill and got a receipt. Second we took the dehumidifier to Sears in the "Commons" to get it fixed and we bought some weed whacker line too. Third we walked over to Calvitos and bought lunch, a chicken parmesan pie and diet coke; Mom had a piece of pizza. Fourth we drove to CVS and Mom got a prescription and I looked for pinwheels. Fifth, Mom drove to Citizen's in Salt Pond Plaza and I paid her the rent, she told me not to worry about Kabuki's and that helped me out. Sixth, Mom went to the cleaners while I went to UPs and got my printing order $5.10 I think. Seventh we drove to Indian Rock road and observed the Osprey there who had a chick we think. 

After we came home around 1:00 pm Mom got dad some lunch I think. I felt guilty about going upstairs and going online so I helped her out in the yard. She mowed the front lawn. I asked dad to help me move the picnic table so someone could mow under it. I also pulled the branch down from the pear tree that K sawed last year.

Dad, Mom and I went to the Lighthouse Diner and had dinner there. Dad smelled like meat rot so Mom made him change beforehand. I had the 4 piece chicken dinner with mashed potatoes and no gravy, cranberry sauce and green beans almondine and 9 mini clam cakes. My leg hurt more when we got back. Mom and I walked down to Galilee and got an ice cream (chocolate peanut butter,) and I really hurt but figured I'd make it back and just be tired. I told Mom a few times today that I felt very tired and woozey. 

Mom told me that if I hurt too much on the way back she'd get the car and come pick me up. I just wanted to get home so bad that I made myself walk until just before the Galilee Grocery. I held on to the phone pole and cried until I could will myself on. I just wanted to get home and didn't care if I cried. I didn't want to sit by the side of the road in tears. I hate this place when it's full of asshole tourists that are stupid and senseless. I snagged 2 ice packs and brought them upstairs with me and assembled my bed so I could sit up and see the computer beside my bed. I took two Aleve. I lay down with the ice packs on my knee and watched The Grifters. I also wrote today's blog and reassembled my WRAP section in my Workbook. I read a bit of "Shakey". I took the ice packs off my leg which was little better and went to sleep. All night my knee hurt when I rolled a certain way. Dad came in the morning into my bedroom when I groaned and said, "Oh, I'm in pain too." Like I wanted to hear his bullshit. Every fucking time you are stuck in a position with him is an opportunity for him to tell you his crap about the past. And everyone thinks I am an asshole for being "so mean," about giving less than a shit about his stupid ramblings. They think he's so goddamned harmless only because they are not exposed to it every minute they are at home. There is no rest in this house, my ears are perked to his foot steps on the stairs so I can close my door if I can't put up with his bullshit at that moment. I'm as patient as possible but I have to call limits so I don't get too angry or sarcastic. I avoid him almost like he had the plague. And I'm not the only one. This house is driven by guilt and anger.

WRAP - I wrote today's Daily Page. I didn't fill out Mental Health America’s 2010 Annual Conference Scholarship form yesterday because it was due in on the 29th of June. I did check off and added wellness tools from the worksheet I had printed out. I have 2 articles with URLs that are interesting today. 

Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on accomplishing an activity for the WRAP book. I am too tired to plan on anything tomorrow. SM wants a cordless phone with 3 extra phones for her birthday next month. I'll also work on the piñata adding papier-mâché to the form.

  

{I want to change a bad habit so that I 1) Stop doing something bad 2) exchange the bad action with a positive action 3) and get a result that will help me in my life.}

A reminder: K and I are planning on making Aloo Gobi on Sunday after going to Spices and Things in Pawtucket (I'll also make a curry or something else for the potluck later) or a new place near the Massachusetts border: Spiceland. Kat is planning on a potluck at her house on Sunday July 2nd. July 4th, Erika, Peter, Selena and their girls are NOT coming but James, Sui May and their girls are. I hope to see if they want to go to the South County museum to see the chicks. July 11th, 12th and 13th Jane is planning on coming to the Dutch Inn with her boys. Mom will be going to NY the weekend of C's birthday, the 15th and the 14th. E is planning on going with her so I need to plan for at least 2 days worth of menus. I need to papier-mâché the piñata the fourth of July cookout. I have the little gifts from the last pinata, I just need candy. I also need to wrap E's gift and buy SM a telephone. ALSO CALL JONNYCAKE CENTER FOR FOOD BASKETS OR EXTRA FOOD. AND MAIL THE ENVELOPE TO HUMAN SERVICES. Sept. 19 through October 1st I will be in Philadelphia. There's a conference Sept 18 through the 21st. in Philadelphia too. 

Things that gave me joy today and things that made me feel better about myself:

Joy: I ate at Calvito's with Mom today, a nice, simple, cheap, quiet lunch .

Made me feel better about myself: I helped Mom outside in the lawn.