SATURDAY, MAY 21, 2011
Mood - Tired and groggy. I woke up at 1:00 pm. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill around 2:00 pm. I felt out of sorts and my eyes are feeling very fucked up. I actually can't tell if it's my eyes or if it's my mind. i do know mentally I'm not doing well.
Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night".
Woke up - I woke up at 1:00 pm. I really need to get to bed very early like 9 am.
Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page I didn't even do a Daily page or a blog. I gorked around the house trying to get a hold on what I could do to prepare myself for the next 5 days. I realized that I am not prepared like I was the last time Mom left. This makes me really anxious. I feel like I'm in outer space. Nothing will go wrong is what my psyche tells me but practical knowledge tells me I am seriously under prepared. Practical knowledge tells me that I have to get my shit together. I can't hold on to an idea or activate any kind of real plan for myself and my mind wants to collapse. I'm telling everyone that I am just busy making preparations when I am actually losing control. I feel in control but I know I have lost all sense of time, perspective and a grip on reality. I am living this minute. The next minute does not exist and there for can not be planned for. There is no anywhere. There is no future. There are no consequences. I do not exist. Life is fluid and I am a leaf that does not float down the stream. I am stuck to the bottom of the creek by the twig that kept me on a branch but is holding me under a rock while the water pushes me around wildly.
WRAP - Wrote this blog.
Plans for Tomorrow I plan on taking Mom to the airport? I don't really know what's going to happen tomorrow. I'm scared.
A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev - maybe just have Kevin take Dad to church on Sunday morning. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!
FRIDAY, MAY 20, 2011
Mood - Tired. I woke up at 12:00 pm. Still sleeping too much. I took an allergy pill around 12:00 pm.
Physical - Stuffiness in general more tired. I went to bed at 4:00 am also "last night".
Woke up - I woke up at 11:30 am. I got myself ready to go to Erika's and asked Mom for a ride.
Activities - Last night I did nothing for WRAP and nothing on a workbook page. Today Bill picked me up from Mom's house but not before I helped Mom in the garden. I mixed some fertilizer with soil for the garden. I went to Carquest with Bill; he needed a jerry can for gas. he dropped me off at Erika's and I spent the rest of the day helping her rearrange the house for the Rudeness a Ska band. I sipped whiskey with Larry all night and was probably an ass. I left at 2 am; Kevin had been passed out in Bill's bed upstairs. I drove him home and went to bed around 3 am but slept at 4 am. I'm trying to think of a way to make myself sleep early tonight so I can get up early every morning.
WRAP - Nothing.
Plans for Tomorrow I planned on going to Jon's goodbye bonfire.
A reminder: Sunday 22nd, Mom leaves for North Carolina until Friday 27th. Review menu for Dad. Find a movie Kev and Dad can go to and preplan it with Kev - maybe just have Kevin take Dad to church on Sunday morning. Post the menu & recipes. DON'T FORGET TO PAY THE P.O. BOX BILL!!!
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