Bipolar Disorder: Helping Your Loved One Manage Their Condition

Helping your loved ones manage their Condition

by Living with bipolar on Wednesday, June 1, 2011 at 10:13am

This is some information that I have found helpful for my family and friends, even if it helps only 1 more person making this page will be worth it.

Bipolar disorder: Helping your loved one manage their condition

There are a few basic things you may be able to do to help your loved one manage bipolar disorder.

• It's important for your loved one to keep scheduled medical appointments. This is true during episodes of illness and even when your loved one isn't having symptoms. Offer to accompany your loved one to medical appointments to get information firsthand from the doctor
• Do what you can to help your loved one see the need for medication, if it has been prescribed
• If your loved one stops taking a prescribed medicine—or is thinking about stopping—the doctor needs to know about this as soon as possible. Symptoms that come back can sometimes indicate a chronic disease course

Bipolar disorder is treatable and manageable

While bipolar disorder is a lifelong condition, and there is no cure, many people can learn to manage their symptoms, usually through a combination of medication and therapy. To get the appropriate plan for you, discuss with your doctor your symptoms and your goals for treatment.

A variety of medications are used in the treatment of bipolar disorder. Once your doctor has developed a treatment plan for you, it's important to follow it carefully. Your doctor will depend on you to let him or her know exactly how you are feeling, so your treatment can be adjusted, if needed. It may help you to keep a chart or diary to track your moods and your progress. If you need information about your treatment, be sure to ask your doctor.

Another part of your treatment plan may include psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy. The exact type of talk therapy used as part of a treatment plan for bipolar disorder can vary from one person to another based on a person's needs. Talk therapy can also be used to treat depression.

As part of our series on how family members can help people with bipolar disorder, we offer Nancham's words: examples of what to do -- and what not to do -- to show love and support.

• Do not treat me as though I no longer have a brain. Do not hover.
• Trust me to make my own decisions, including those that affect my treatment and the course of my illness.
• Make me take responsibility for my illness and my actions, but love me regardless.
• Understand that you will never really understand what is going on in my mind, because I rarely understand it myself.
• Know that when I say "There's nothing you can do to help," it probably means it's the time when I need you the most.
• Believe that I am capable of doing everything that I say I can - except fly without a plane.
• Accept when I say I can't, even if I could the day before.
• Respect my boundaries. If I say I am bothered by having people stand behind me, take my word for it. Don't test me.
• Educate yourself about bipolar in general terms and specifically about my subgroup. Ask questions. Be open to learning. I'll guide you through it, but that can only happen if you're there and open to learning. Educate others - but not at my expense.
• Do not challenge my diagnosis, just because I don't act like somebody's great-aunt who had bipolar. Everybody's symptoms are their own.
• I will joke about my disorder. I will make wisecracks about being Froot Loops or taking vacations at the mental hospital. Please don't do so yourself. This is my right, my defense mechanism, that I will allow you to share in time, but only you. Do not joke about it to your friends.
• Know that this isn't your fault. This isn't my fault either. I didn't ask for this and can't just will it away with happy thoughts. Be there anyway.
• Finally and most importantly, always remember that I love you. Please love me, for that's the only way we will get through this together. Alone is so much harder.

--by Nancham, About.com Bipolar forum member

Tips for coping with bipolar disorder in the family

• Accept your loved one’s limits – People with bipolar disorder can’t control their moods. They can’t just snap out of a depression or get a hold of themselves during a manic episode. Neither depression nor mania can be overcome through self-control, willpower, or reasoning. Telling a person to “Stop acting crazy” or “Look on the bright side” won’t help.  
• Accept your own limits. You can’t rescue a person with bipolar disorder, nor can you force someone to take responsibility for getting better. You can offer support, but ultimately, recovery is in the hands of the person with the illness.
• Reduce stress – Stress makes bipolar disorder worse, so try to find ways to reduce stress in your family member’s life. Ask how you can help and volunteer to take over some of the person’s responsibilities if needed. Establishing and enforcing a daily routine— with regular times for getting up, having meals, and going to bed—can also reduce family stress.
• Communicate – Open and honest communication is essential to coping with bipolar disorder in the family. Share your concerns in a loving way, ask the person how he or she is feeling, and make an effort to truly listen—even if you disagree with your loved one or don’t relate to what’s being said.

Things that might help:

• Bipolar disorder is a real illness, like diabetes. It requires medical treatment.
• You’re not to blame for bipolar disorder. You didn’t cause it. It’s not your fault.
• You can feel better. There are many treatments that can help.
• When bipolar disorder isn’t treated, it usually gets worse.

Encourage the person to take bipolar disorder medication

Medication is the cornerstone of treatment for bipolar disorder, and most people need it to regulate their moods and avoid relapse. Despite the need for medication, many people with bipolar disorder stop taking it. Some quit because they’re feeling better, others because of side effects, and still others because they enjoy the symptoms of mania. People who don’t think they have a problem are particularly likely to stop taking medication.

You can help a person with bipolar disorder stay on track by emphasizing the importance of medication and making sure all prescriptions are being taken as directed. Also encourage the person to speak to the doctor about any bothersome side effects. Side effects can be very unpleasant if the dose of the medication is too low or too high, but a change in medication or dosage may solve the problem. Remind the person that abruptly stopping medication is dangerous.

Symptoms & Types

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Bipolar is a complex illness. There are many different symptoms -- and several different types -- of bipolar disorder. The primary symptoms of the disorder are dramatic and unpredictable mood swings. The various types of bipolar disorder range from mild to severe.

Symptoms

Bipolar Symptoms

The primary symptoms of bipolar disorder are dramatic and unpredictable mood swings.

Mania Symptoms

Mania symptoms may include excessive happiness, excitement, irritability, restlessness, increased energy, less need for sleep, racing thoughts, high sex drive, and a tendency to make grand and unattainable plans.

Depression Symptoms

Depression symptoms may include sadness, anxiety, irritability, loss of energy, uncontrollable crying, change in appetite causing weight loss or gain, increased need for sleep, difficulty making decisions, and thoughts of death or suicide.

Types

Bipolar Types

There are several types of bipolar disorder; all involve episodes of depression and mania to a degree. They include bipolar I, bipolar II, cyclothymic disorder, mixed bipolar, and rapid-cycling bipolar disorder.

Bipolar I

A person affected by bipolar I disorder has had at least one manic episode in his or her life. A manic episode is a period of abnormally elevated mood, accompanied by abnormal behavior that disrupts life.

Bipolar II

Bipolar II is similar to bipolar I disorder, with moods cycling between high and low over time. However, in bipolar II disorder, the "up" moods never reach full-on mania.

Rapid Cycling

In rapid cycling, a person with bipolar disorder experiences four or more episodes of mania or depression in one year. About 10% to 20% of people with bipolar disorder have rapid cycling.

Mixed Bipolar

In most forms of bipolar disorder, moods alternate between elevated and depressed over time. But with mixed bipolar disorder, a person experiences both mania and depression simultaneously or in rapid sequence.

Cyclothymia

Cyclothymia (cyclothymic disorder) is a relatively mild mood disorder. People with cyclothymic disorder have milder symptoms than in full-blown bipolar disorder.

Bipolar disorder: Helping your loved one manage their condition