FRIDAY, JUNE 10, 2011
Mood - I felt groggy, bloated and like I was looking through a tunnel when I woke up. I woke up around 11:00 am. I took both the allergy medication and the excedrin migraine. My period started Saturday night very, very light. It is a little less heavier than yesterday. I feel dizzy after I took the pills so I took 2 more the second trip into town. The ozone is heavier today again.
Physical - I went to bed last night at 5:30 am. I am groggy, dizzy and crampy. My blood smells horrible (from p.).
Woke up - I woke up at 11:00 am. I plan on getting up at 9:00 am tomorrow.
Activities - I got up around 11:00 am. I went to pee. I expected to go to Roger Williams University with Mom to deliver her report but she said that Erik already did it. She told me though that she planned on going to the Farmer's Daughter to get the Brussels Sprouts that we'd gone there for before earlier in the week. We had to hurry because it was getting on to 11:30 when we left and Dad NEEDS his lunch or eats inappropriate things (like spoonfuls of just peanut butter.) So we hurried back and Mom made some chicken salad for lunch. I fed the fish then went upstairs and turned on my computer. I didn't feel so good so I lay down with an ice pack. After a while I looked to see if there were any coupons that I could print out from CVS there was but my printer is not working. Eventually around 2:00 pm we drove to Farmer's Daughter again because one of the plants Mom got was a cabbage plant and we needed to exchange it for a brussels sprouts plant. I texted M. to tell her I didn't feel good enough to go for a walk or visit. I'd call her when I felt better. I still feel a little out of it and gassy. As we headed towards Matunuck and the Jerusalem DEM we stopped in to CVS so I could pick up some Excedrin Migraine pills (100 for $10.99). We went to the DEM and watched the osprey there for a little while and chatted with some of the DEM guys we knew from Jamestown. We headed over to Indian Rock Road to visit and observe the ospreys there. As always those particular ospreys were not happy to see us. The Mother osprey tried to drop a branch on us!
We went home and I went online for about an hour. We had to wait until it wasn't too early or too late to eat dinner at Buster Krab's. I had a chicken burrito, fries and some coleslaw. Mom had three fish tacos and a fruit salad. dad had the fish and chips. It was expensive like tourist food always is but it was delicious. Mom and I decided next time we would go without Dad who complained that we were eating on their deck and that the wind bothered him.
I went upstairs and went on line. I did a review of Buster Krab's on Yelp. I continued watching that Scrubs marathon until about 1:00 am. I going to watch that horrible horror film the Human Centipede: First Sequence.
{last night I asked my Mother if she thought I had improved since the boys were little. She said she believed I did because I was pretty bad back then. The depression was debilitating enough that she and my sister (!) watched the kids almost every day. I asked what she meant about E. I only remember Mom and Dad coming to our apartment. She told me that E. would follow the boys down to school in her car to make sure they were appropriately dressed for school and that they were not bothered by anyone. That made me cry. I didn't know E. gave a shit. I believed back then that E. was out to get me and wanted me to be put permanently in a mental hospital. Mom said that I was not doing very well. I asked her if she thought I should have a job (because that question troubles me every day,) she told me that although she knew that I was intelligent and there were times that I did a good job working with her in the lab, that I was not consistent in my work. Sometimes I would work really hard and well. Sometimes the depression would render me useless.}
WRAP - Wrote the blog for today. I wrote today's Daily Page. I found 2 URLs and a poem for the WRAP Workbook.
Plans for Tomorrow I plan on getting up. I plan on accomplishing an activity for the WRAP book. I plan on doing something or making something for Rick to thank him for taking care of my car's alternator.
{I want to change a bad habit so that I 1) Stop doing something bad 2) exchange the bad action with a positive action 3) and get a result that will help me in my life.}
A reminder: On the 19th RIBS Group is planning on meeting at 6:00 pm in the Warwick Library Room 100. I am suppose to co-chair it with Donna. CALL DONNA. Call M. tomorrow if feeling bettermake plans to go for a walk along the Wall and maybe get some lemonade. Saturday, June 11th is Holly R.'s Birthday (Try to show up) Holly wrote me back on Facebook to say we'll get together next week if she isn't too swamped. On facebook we decided to go to a Lovecraftian movie at Rochambeau Library around the 27th of June at 6:00 pm.
Some Other Links That May Help:
I See Angry People... Psychology Today
Body of Evidence
Dispatches from the forefront of eating disorder science
I see angry people...
Eating disorder patients see people as angry, even when they're not.
6 Clues to Character
The traits that shape us remain fairly stable over time, making them the closest thing we have to a crystal ball. Whether you wish to take an inventory of yourself, gauge the suitability of a partner, glimpse what a friendship might hold, or preview a child's trajectory, here are six key candidates for your attention.
By Hara Estroff Marano, published on May 03, 2011
Adult Victims of Child Abuse Still Need to be Heard
I Take Up Space ~ Psychology Today
I Take Up Space
Examining fatism and its consequences
A Culture of Schadenfreude: Delighting in the Deaths of Fat People
Cultural schadenfreude is a symptom of a society losing empathy.
Anger in the Age of Entitlement
Cleaning up emotional pollution.
Resentment and Power
It’s the dull-eyed monster that mocks the flesh it eats.
Friday, August 20, 2010
How Many Stand Silent?
How Many Stand Silent?
How many stand silent,
Watching as you quietly die?
How many stand silent,
Watching as you are abused?
One, a dozen, the whole world.
What if no one spoke for any of us?
Would you speak if the hand raised,
was raised against you and yours?
How many stand silent,
Knowing who deals death
Just beyond their door?
How many stand slient,
Knowing cruelty lives and thrives
Just beyond their door?
One, a dozen, the whole world.
What if no one looked at any of us?
Would you cry out or would you cower away,
if the cruelty was coming through your door?
How many stand silent,
Waiting for someone to speak?
How many stand silent,
Believing the lies, "I've changed"?
One, a dozen, the whole world.
What if we stopped believing them?
How many stand silent...
How many stand silent waiting for...
Just one person to say, "Stop! Enough!"?
How many stand silent...
How many stand silent waiting for...
Someone else to make the world change?
copyright Shanyn Silinski 2010
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